The hibernation genie started the backwards lullaby. Commander Antpi relaxed. There was a long journey ahead of him through the Isolar Solar Tunnel and he needed

"Enjoy." smiled the motel clerk, passing me the key from behind the bullet-proof glass. As he turned to watch Top Gear, I trudged past the dirty ash trays to my hollow-core door.

Halfway down the aisle I remembered. "Say, could you tell me where the lime juice is?" The guy stocking shelves said, "On one ..." It lingered in my mind like an unstarted melody

Balzar got his name from the brasserie in Paris,at the Latin Quarter,where he was sired in 1886.He did not care for it but it seemed to cause some effect on women,so...

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People say to me: "Oi, you, yes you, just shut up & listen. Look sit down, I said LISTEN! OK, how do you get your ideas for your folds?" I say: "I listen to the voices in my head

Some people like rain drops on a tin roof. Others like basking in the sun. Kids like to build forts in the snow. But my favorite weather is heads above them all, sleet.

I ducked just in time. The neon pink paint ball which was clearly meant for me splattered right in Captain Spalding's face. He held his paintball gun over his head and yelled WAR!

Evil Finn and Jake decided to go on an adventure to stop the Good Ice King

"These are not the droids you are looking for..." said the mysterious cowled figure. "THOSE are the droids you are looking for." he pointed to Wall-E and Twiki, "Get 'em!"

I was the happiest when I was with my Randle. his smile shined brighter than the sun and his eyes were a crystal blue. he was the love of my life and was taken from me by these

"2 African cane rats, 2 kg bush meat, a pig snout, a giant African snail, an impala skull cap, a tiger penis, & a Black Mamba. Do you have any other wares to declare Mr. Magagula?"

Sometimes, we have to fight for the ones we love. Even if the ones we love happen to be androphobics in HR with large tummies and penchants for sausage.

You're parent's don't love you like I do the imp cooed to the boy through his window Come with me to the woods and well have grand adventures The imp's smile showed his sharp fangs

How to create a hoverboard: Attach 2 x GAU-8 Avenger's to a skateboard and fire gun into the ground to create lift and propulsion.

BAM! The shelf came down with a thunderous boom and everyone in the house felt it deep within their bones. For the second time this week,

Just when Frank thought his noisy neighbors Bob, Lorena, and their three wily kids couldn't be more obnoxious, Lorena popped out another one. "YEEEAAH!" Bob brayed.

The Sun was hungry that day, consuming 22,000 metric tons of hydrogen and eventually belching up a sizable solar flare of gamma-irradiated methane that descended on Poughkeepsie.

Why do i constantly have to wake up to the those ringing bells every morning ! I hate it , its bad enough i have to wake up an hour from now , oh well i guess the early bird catch

It was a crushing defeat. The heat wave had destroyed Mr. Okley's pumpkin patch only days before the town's annual Veggie Might competition. His shriveled produce was too weak for