... and that is why they are called Macaws." The zoo lady smiled brightly in her safari khakis. "Now, any more questions? Yes?" A grizzled man slowly raised his hand. He coughed,

The alluring appeal of alliteration rendered Ed's eulogy effectively illiterate. The congregation cringed as Ed began: "Bob began banging busty Broadway broads before beginning big

close it back quietly, not to disturb the owner's house and he qickly turn around and sees a dog barking so loud that the house owner is awaken from the sleep.

The waiter was talking to me very fast in Catalan. I said something to him in what could have been Italian which is how I ended up with a bottle of alcohol free lager. The vagaries

The year: 2165. The place: The Andromeda Galaxy. There, in his massive star cruiser, the 12th incarnation of B'chugerroth, Eternal Guardian of the Dark Flame, plotted his return

The Archbishop stood before us. I thought about his father's ears and his family's hidden German past. Through our marriage, we would rule the world. According to the prophecy,

There was an eye in his breakfast cereal, floating there in a 2% milk bath, staring up at him. No sign of an optic nerve or even any other gore - just a perfect eye with a green

In the Shenanigan's household it was an open secret young Malarky was the result of a liason between Mrs. Shenanigan and Father Seamus, but Malarky was sure he was a changeling

When Det. Manatee read the headline "Manatees could lose their endangered species status" in the morning edition of the Times, he went ballistic.

Of all the run-down dives on Mars, I had to enter this one. The turquoise and aqua decor. Johnny Carter's gravelly "I shot the Jeddak." There she was, my fatal flame -- Jezikara

I traded my all my baseball cards to Tommy for his pet Slug, Oliver. I'm starting to think I was ripped off. He doesn't move much. That little shit jipped me. I tried prodding

There once was a girl named Emily. She was in college and became frustrated during her reading class. You see, they were told to use technology and she just wasn't good with it.

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I found out my best friend was in love with me all this time and I thought I was really stupid for not knowing. I liked her too but there was also another girl I liked, I don't

There are legends told among poultry, tales of terrible ancestors with gnashing teeth who lived in lush forests warmed by an ancient sun. In the end time a globe of fire plunged to

The Prophet Efyualtuel stood in the desert of his times, and was silent. Desert wind blew, haters hated, chatters chatted, and the plastic did abide. But in that silence came to hi

I walked in and a odd looking blob of blue substance waved at me on top of my newly painted dripping table. I turn and

As Mel Gibson raged at the police officer, flailing his arms and shouting expletives, the car he'd neglected to put in park began rolling down the steep hill towards the gasoline

The gemanon orange and the smart toaster knew each other better than the humans could. Humans thought they would branch out into the cosmos, but it would be fruit and appliances

In the world of Esperanna there lay a small boy, pocket knife in hand, staring up at the clouds. As he grabbed his glider he noticed