close it back quietly, not to disturb the

close it back quietly, not to disturb the owner's house and he qickly turn around and sees a dog barking so loud that the house owner is awaken from the sleep.

He then presses the Bat button, which releases the Bat sleeping gas, he puts on his Bat breather and waits for the dog and the owner to pass out. He then get his Bat

collecting net and spreads it out below the snoozing bats. Then using his Bat nudging tool he begins to tap the Bats gently from their roosts. Cinching the net he creeps past the

hanging form of a particularly large specimen. Yes, he must have this bat for his collection. He spreads out a large net, & pokes it with his tool. "Ow hey what's the idea Alfred?"

"Mawster Bruce, is that really you? Have you undergone the ultimate mutation and become a bat? Do I finally get Wayne Manor for myself? Can I stop pretending I live for wiping your

furry little fat basket? NO, that can;t be the case. It's too good to be true. Maybe... maybe I AM the bat? Maybe I was meant to the batman all along? Could it be so easy... hmmmm

hmm hm-hmmm. Hmmmmm. I contemplated the possibility of being Batman some more. Hmmm. HMMMMMM. HMMM-HMMM-HMMMMM!. The intensity of my contemplating was increasing.

Those around me started to get nervous. They knew that my contemplation was reaching closer and closer to singularity and that we would all become entangled in the Event Horizon if

we didn't collectively sort out our thoughts. I knew this would not be possible...not on our own. "Call 1984," I stated flatly. "Orwell is our only hope." I put him on speaker:

"Mr. Orwell, can you hear me?" "Blair! Arthur Eric Blair is my name! Why do you call me from the 21st Century about 1984? What about Animal Farm?" Click. He hung up, again.