I had never tried a meatball. The sisters at the mission had always been vegetarian in deference to the locals, whose animal offerings I had always viewed with both humor and

I grew up in a semi. Was potty-trained, learned to read, and even how to gamble before I was three. It was a good life. It was a hard life. It was the only life I knew. And the

One fish! Two Fish! Red fish! Blue fish! Christ where did Dr Suess get his doctorate anyway and what was his specialty and where did he get those animals. 65 Years and still can't

In a ship on the open sea, I stood at the helm. "Cap'n!" my faithful servant said. I turned to see him waving around a baby tyrannosaurus. "It finally hatched, Cap'n!" he cried.

"I guess I'll run away." Jake sighed. He looked at Finn who was sleeping.

"What did I say about electronic devices?" "Just checking the score, ma'am... ah, we're ahead by four. And while I'm online, I'll update my blog..." As the plane spiraled downward,

I was sleeping in my room all alone and when I woke up I was in another room and suddenly!

Smell this. Now smell that. Now, get a load of this. What he was holding was unspeakable. Unholy, and fowl. He wafted its atrocious smell towards me with a white gloved hand.

During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through

There was a girl with a puppy. This puppy was very sweet. He liked to play fetch in the water. He was a big dog, but acted like a lap dog when it came to people's laps.

There was an old man who is known to resolve any problem. One day a girl went to the old man and asked for a piece of advice about

His tombstone read "Here lies James, who died during the great stickleback massacre of 1986. RIP".

Nary a visitor to the gorilla cage would smile at CoCo. She just sat despondent until one day

Snowzilla crashed through the streets of NYC giving the scrambled air force jets a cold blast of his cryobreath as they strafed his massive shoulders.

The needle probed a vein, popped it. She sighed, her toes curling on the filthy mattress. Ever since sandmen, dream entradistas, brought back the stuff, the world lay in a stupor.

I'm the worst procrastinator. At my wedding, I sent an sms to say "We're through" to my Ex just before I said "I do" to my Fiance. The others at the PA meeting weren't impressed.

Happy, Sneezy, Grouchy, Dopey, Sleepy, Bashful & Doc

He rolled over thinking she was talking in her sleep. No, she was quietly dreaming. He looked at her for a minute, never thinking he'd have a love so deep and real. She was fake

Stacy and Joe decided to have their honeymoon in a McDonald's Play Place. The narrow crawl tunnels were romantic. The catering was succulent. But the ball pit was contaminated with

But he couldn't tolerate this crap acting anymore. He was a God. They were, well twits. He walked over to the craft services table and decided to eat his feelings. He hated