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The deep dank rainforest in Borneo is 130 million years old. Professor Pat McGroin had spent months in the forest trying to observe the mating habits of the birds of paradise, only

I'd arranged to meet Ronnie 'OMG' Delaney, my ex business partner & part time cockroach at the Leg o' Mutton on Lambs Conduit. He swung in wearing a leather trench coat & flat cap.

La Biblia

"You are sooo Back A&^wards every day. You always get up fully dressed, but by the time you hit the living room your clothes are off, and you sitting in front of

I dug under my couch cushions and found the remote, 75 cents, and some cheetos. But I also found an evil, staff-wielding capybara. "Can I get you something to drink?" I asked him.

She sighed heavily--again. It dropped onto his consciousness like a fly landing on a whale being air-vac'ed. That last fly-weight sigh snapped his strained sanity and his mind expl

My friend got the lease on a hole-in-the-wall bar near Troost in KC. He's opening in June & needs a good name. The rejected names are Bar O'Soap, Wong's Half Way Inn, The Bearded C

I'm feeling pretty down. Sure, there's the wife, kids, job, car, house, etc. etc. but what's it all about? Work work work, worry worry, stress. Eat, sleep, repeat. I think I'll buy

In experienced preparation for a day at The Happiest Place on Earth, I consumed 800 mg of pain reliever, 100 mg of a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, and a cup of dopamine.

Uncertain of weather it was her insuicance or his temerity, Dan Betward could read the writing on the wall. He decided it was useless to continue playing the entertaining fool, and

Wow, doesn't anybody still fold?

His hatred for reggae was only outmatched by his love of weed. To solve this problem he moved to Jamaica to become super high but also kill reggae artists from the inside and

This is wrong, I know it, but I can't stop. Using stones and my catapult to put out street lamps is such a powerful way to hit back at the spoilers of the dark, we just don't need

"Here lies the body of Edward Shakooftuplenetzer. His last name was too strange and such a hassle to spell, the people killed him so they didn't have to put up with this nonsense"

I tried to put sea salt on her red alarming lights, she guides me through the night but I don't want to go home. I want to feel alive, and I know she did too; time was running out.

Happy Female Directors are all alike; every unhappy Female Director is unhappy in her own way.

Suddenly everything went black and she couldn't see. She felt the ground shake below her as if it were to open up and swallow her whole.

I'll never understand the whole again. It will always be a sum of parts. Each part neatly tucked away in the Rolodex waiting for

A Levantine man approached my house yesterday. Maybe it was me, but he smelled like saltwater and pule, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.