Do not continue this FoldingStory. By it's completion, it will leave you in a cold sweat, awake until the early hours, staring into the darkness. This thread ends here. Goodnight.

So it turns out the reason 2016 was such a screwed up year was because of all the time travelers that are coming back to stop Trump. People used to go stop Hitler but now they try

Was it treason to want to steal the President's wife away for a romantic weekend? How much of the American military and Homeland Security would be used to ensure her chaste return?

I guess the ideas that shape our world, the human one, are like a tapestry, interwoven, building on threads of what came before. Some threads break but the fabric grows

I loaded and cocked the gun. I thought to myself "This world was never good enough for octopus-human love, and it will never will be!" As I raised the gun I imagined her purple

A man walked into a bar one day...

A third glass slid down the bar and skidded to a stop in front of him, only light clinking its predecessors. He drained it and tossed back some peanuts. When he woke up, he knew

So I was a bit boorish & off putting, insulting & inflammatory, cut a few corners - well flat out lied, but now I'm all better & will be an perfect angel from now on,forgiven, kay?

I heard another knock at the door. "Who is it?" I asked exasperatedly. "YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!" replied my grandma. "Third time today," I muttered as I opened the door only to find

Mrs. Owens had an amazing pair of knockers. They were enormous heavy things festooned with ornate decorations & hung heavily from front and back doors of her mansion. I lifted the

She needed a place to share truthful knowledge, but where. So Kalki headed towards the internet, and started a fold on FoldingStory. Asking for forums and resources, the places p

"Merry Christmas!" he said, more a challenge than a greeting. He waited, looking for the expression that would send him to sensitivity training. His wife had taken the kids and he

Once upon a time there was a koala. She needed help reaching for something that had nothing she could climb on. So she asked a tall giraffe to help her

She cackled over the screams of the children. She wasn't accustomed to cackling, but it was all she could do not to piss herself every time one begged for help. Standardized tests

I wanted to discover what lay beyond conception, remote & ineffable, utterly strange. Within the wretchedness of mere existence my heart grew sick, and utter horror sounded within

I really shouldn't have been looking. But their blinds were open and I couldn't help myself. They were

hi

Business was barely limping along at Sappho's Noodle. The once-trendy pasta bar would have to diversify if it was going to weather the times. Gwen and Sarah, the owners, considered

Cannon balls was a euphemism that'd backfired back into his face. Cassandra wasn't the type of woman to let such a claim go unverified and her cutlass ensured a docile subject for

Eating a McGangBang is kind of like having a threesome with two ugly chicks. While it's happening you're stoked, but once you're finished. Well you've got a good story about regret