I woke up and realized that this wasnt my own bed. What am i doing. I tried to talk but all i could say was: DEEZ NUTZ. at that moment i realised i was infected with Deeznuteritis

"Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy..." The song was running through my head like a drum beat. The cars were at a standstill. I tapped the accerator

The crowd is not to be heard. Close your ears to their message. Close your eyes to their message. Go away from the world to not hear the din of the crowd. Hide away in the Silence.

Baking cookies required stamina once fossil fuels had disappeared. You had to hire an Olympic cyclist to run the generator for twenty damned minutes to get the oven to a steady

Hey - listen up Parents of the World. Just cuz I'm a lil kid doesn't mean I don't have stuff to say. Next time you guys "stay together" for us kids, do us favor, huh, and DON'T.

as the baby Murphy the elephant roamed through the plaines with his mother, he wondered when dad would come home. he was tired & hungry. why did dad have to leave during the move.

Now that we had settled the argument in my favor, I was ready to move on. I was stupid to believe she would give in that easily. As I began to relax she pounced and I was

So I says to him, did you steal my toaster? Hey! you steal my bloody toaster?

People always say that you should "write hot, edit cold," but I've never been very good at taking advice. So when I delivered the letter to Mr. Slovanko

"Lemurs have biggest testicles of all primates in proportion to body mass". Digit threw the newspaper away... He knew Gorilla testicles were the smallest among primates & now this.

Cap'n Crunch was pissed. Those uppity Crunchberries had succeeded in removing his name from "their" cereal. Little pink BASTARDS! He'd killed peanut butter Smedley, now he'd crush

Sara move to another country and lost contact with all her old friends. She misses them a lot. she also tried to contact them but can never get in touch. In her mind

The kids left the playground with a feeling of discomfort. "What had we done?" The children walked silently into the night, pinching their foreheads and clamping their fists.

Gunter glieben glauben globen.

"The choice is yours: cherry pie or dark chocolate piroulines." Her aristocratic voice swirled around his head, mocking him. This was no choice. He was sure of it. It was a test.

She became caretaker for the woman who gave birth to her; a woman whose brain was being relentlessly ravaged by prions attacking and rearranging the very proteins of her

I did it! I got 10,000! This is by far the most exciting day of my life!!!

"Crispy and delicious long pig!" the signs read. You couldn't get it everywhere I was told. Only a few small spots in back alleys served it, but then human flesh was was an

Jim got the licensing agreement for swiveling office chairs. Now that he had monopolized the industry, he was determined to make the lives of every office worker miserable.

The photon lazier is a bit different from the photon lazer-- similar, but about like celery and carrots floating in the same stew bound for the gut and eventually the city pipes.