Lilith was lost

It was 11 p.m., Mr. Aardvark glanced outside to the pouring rain. Another cigarette, another Bourbon. The cutout ransom letter he had found read "Get me my Golden Diamond or

And he wiped his mouth with a gold towel. He looked at Zeek sheepishly. "Like that?" Zeek patted his shoulder, "That's how you earn your red wings." After that time

Spock looked down on the human race and said, "They are highly illogical."

"Server disconnected - please try again in a moment." Toromir Ravensgrog found himself back at his tavern with all its burdens, eager to level up as the CPA for a pet-shop chain in

I awoke with a start when I heard the cocking of rifles down the hall. It was just as I had always feared: the poodle poachers had come for Fifi.

"You have contravened my will for the last time, mortal." The Night Queen gazed down at her wretched prisoner. "Sentinel!" she cried, her clear voice echoing, "Take him to the

There was just nothing in the world better than a pair of orange tap shoes. Unless it was neon-green toenail polish. Either way, he was pretty sure

Blink 182 was over as a band. They'd hated each other ever since they'd hit pay dirt because every single one of them thought they were the secret genius behind the music but

Up for auction... lot 31... mason jar full of human teeth. What am I bid?

Beryl examined her toast carefully and carefully nibbled around the image of Princess Diana burnt into its crisp surface.

Kaleidoscopic Sniveling Donkey woke up in the sweat lodge with a couple of hangovers and the Sun knocking on his clenched eyes. He sent the lightnings from his anguish to fry them.

She hat a law exam test in forty-eight hours, so she grabbed all the Ridlin she could crush up and

The Mandible of the Apocalypse was forlorn. It lacked a soul-mate with which to conduct appropriate mandibular activities. The Mandible gnashed silently. The gears of the metacosm

'Giraffe executioner required for Danish zoos' Agnetha Geborgen put down the Copenhagen Herald small ads section & sipped her coffee. 'Dear Whoever,' she wrote, 'I would be happy

They had enjoyed twenty years of blissful, harmonious marriage when Jake became startled to find that his wife secretly harbored bigoted views.

HIHIHIHIHIHIHI

Pooh left the therapist's office elated. He felt empowered. He'd finally gotten in touch with his inner self, something that he repressed. Piglet said, "Hi Pooh" and Pooh ate him.

The dragon eyed the damsel suspiciously. This did not look like any typical damsel in distress. In fact, with armor, sword, and shield, she looked very "un-distressed".

I just cry.