Uncertain of weather it was her insuicance or his temerity, Dan Betward could read the writing on the wall. He decided it was useless to continue playing the entertaining fool, and

Wow, doesn't anybody still fold?

His hatred for reggae was only outmatched by his love of weed. To solve this problem he moved to Jamaica to become super high but also kill reggae artists from the inside and

This is wrong, I know it, but I can't stop. Using stones and my catapult to put out street lamps is such a powerful way to hit back at the spoilers of the dark, we just don't need

"Here lies the body of Edward Shakooftuplenetzer. His last name was too strange and such a hassle to spell, the people killed him so they didn't have to put up with this nonsense"

I tried to put sea salt on her red alarming lights, she guides me through the night but I don't want to go home. I want to feel alive, and I know she did too; time was running out.

Happy Female Directors are all alike; every unhappy Female Director is unhappy in her own way.

I'll never understand the whole again. It will always be a sum of parts. Each part neatly tucked away in the Rolodex waiting for

Suddenly everything went black and she couldn't see. She felt the ground shake below her as if it were to open up and swallow her whole.

A Levantine man approached my house yesterday. Maybe it was me, but he smelled like saltwater and pule, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.

Once upon a time, I was a bagger at the food hole.

The accelerator suddenly dropped to the floor, and all 476 horses thundered under the hood. Flames jetted from the side exhaust, and the impromptu crowd whooped and hollered at the

The note ended with, "Why dear sir, one could hardly find a sillier celebrity than you." He stared at the paper, trembling. "Sillier celebrity?" He thought, why he was the MOST

Dr. Moodle also supported the claim that Dr. Seuss had a PhD in environmental science because he predicted the green eggs and ham. Thus, Dr. Moodle was not supported by

Ted's senior year was marked by an Evil Teacher. This Evil Teacher bedeviled and tormented Ted, but was also a blessing in disguise.

Obama walked out of the Bathroom and saw Romney bent over, texting, at the top of the stairs. The president realized it would be real easy to just

Beneath the dense city air lay Hunstanton Pier. At first glance she is ugly, spoiling the consistency of the artificial green grass. You have to look closely to see her true beauty

"Now cough." [ha-choo!] "I said cough, not sneeze." [Urrrpppp] "No, no, no. COUGH!" [Phffttttttttttt] "Dammit!" Dr. Wife threw her stethoscope on the coffee table, irritated by her

It is the morning of Oct.12, and the clock is striking seven. As usual, I'm at the center of this city - Intersection 24. "This section has been blocked..." A big loudspeaker on a

Once upon a time, there are a really bad monkey, a bear and a bird.