I dated a girl once by the name of Debbie Teeth who went by the nickname Spooky Tooth. Seems that I broke her heart, so she busted my jaw, and I had to eat my food through a straw.

"Katmandu! Australia! Fermentation and defenestrations! There are only a few things that these words share in common and if you can guess what they are I won't

Lentils, the limitless legume

Benedict Cumberbatch slithered seductively across the cold marble floor, I stared, fascinated yet slightly revolted, as Maggie Smith, in character as the Dowager Countess and nude

I had let my dreadlocks be for years, so I cut them with great trepidation. But it was the morning of my Science Fair, and "Bacterial Analysis of Hair" was last-minute brilliance.

"Pipes, pipes, pipes" he wheezed, "you'd think that, as a plumber, I'd be pretty damned sick of the things by now. And, you know what?" He paused to spit, noisily, onto the tarmac,

a little pebble named peb wanted to find his soul mate, but unbeknownst to peb a BIG storm was rolling in over the garden where peb had lived most of his life since leaving the

Joel Hodgson regretted leaving Mystery SCience Theater 3000 because

It all unfolded in slomo.

In his heart of hearts, Dracula was a softie. He spent his downtime knitting wool koozies for tubes of blast-frozen blood and sketching ideas for marshmallow shapes. No one knew

If you ever wake up from this nightmare tell your aunt Sandy that the

Danny used a homemade pond life viewer made from a toilet roll with clear cellophane attached to the bottom with an elastic band, to examine the contents of his soup carefully.

The room spun - not really, it was in his head, but the net effect was the same: he lost his lunch on the old woman sitting next to him at the conference. The look of horror on her

His mind had been inhabited by that bug. "Why do you mate with other females?" he asked of Christine, looking puzzled. "Explain your reproduction and we can control your species."

True story: A student signed up for my communication class because he'd misread the course title. So he showed up on the first day, all excited to learn the art of Pubic Speaking.

You know, a good story doesn't have to be epic or action-packed. A really good story could be about something simple, like a cup...and involve ordinary people, like Maggie & Steve.

Tilting his cowboy hat, he stared into the lights.The live cameras focused on him after a tap-dancing cigarette ad . "Preforming 'Indian Love Song' the yodeler! Slim Whitman!"

Aja had run out of time, there was nothing left she could do.

He was fool because he still believed in "win-wins"

Dan, Melilda, and Walter meet in the breakroom at 10am each weekday. They each eat a donut and tell an off-color sexual joke. Sometimes, other coworkers share the breakroom. Is