"We need to get off this damn planet -- these people are crazy!" Cappy Dammit might have lacked some joined-up thinking, but he was a Megador of the BBQ. One day in the Drift,

I 'came to' rather than 'woke up'. Where was I? Some kind of expensive hotel room. I was wearing the same clothes I'd had on at the convention. "Hello?" No answer. I ran my hand

Frustrated by the absence of an award for the Greatest Award, I created just such an award and then awarded it to myself for having created and awarded it. The Greatest Award Award

Halfway down the aisle I remembered. "Say, could you tell me where the lime juice is?" The guy stocking shelves said, "On one ..." It lingered in my mind like an unstarted melody

Jedi Hand waited hat in hand for the door to open. A hat selected for its texture, in the hope that Lurch would like it when JH visited the Addams residence for a play-date with

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jim had one goal in mind. To be awesome. Beer? Check. Crossbow? Check. Jerky? Check. Wallet in a shoulder holster? Check. He smoothed his hair and grimaced. Time to

"I'll get around to it," I said as I looked at the broken dish washer. Two weeks later, I was eating off paper plates. Then yesterday, I found it healed itself.

I need a story small enough to read on my phone.

So much for the rain

Sighing, she looked into the dusty mirror and took off her earrings, eyelashes, and nose.

As i walked out of my house, i realized that no one was around, i walked further down the street to confirm my suspicion. I was the last man on earth.

I am so sorry. I ate all of your peeps.

English has been 'enriched' with words like 'sexting' & 'cybersex', but what's the expression for the act of surfing Streetview looking for couples caught in the act? Googoyeurism?

In a huge pond, there lived many fish. They were arrogant and never listened to anyone. In this pond, there also lived a kind-hearted crocodile.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

Lost everything! Honey stocks bottomed out. Heffalump Investments filed Chapter 11. Chief Analyst P.Bear grumbled "Really I'm a bear of very little brain." & took a slow train back

Black bark gives you fire ash. You give worms to mother. I heard old man spit. This is what I pull not that.

Neither man would speak of Lord YnerMand. The Grog Knight was bedding two of the

The team of painters that I hired played a punch buggy variant called "punch bucket", which led to colorful misbrushings all over my living room. My dog was covered in streaks of