They say life is a lesson - one you learn a little at a time. Well, he had always been a slow learner. And now he was paying for it. Whoever it was knocked a third time.

I hate when people watch me open their presents.

Your life is also what you experienced,otherwise how could we trust our own memories? Since we spend most of our time thinking about the future & the present is over before we even

The cats were swarming around me and I fearfully looked towards the door. How could they have known my weakness? Only one thing stood between me and my salvation: the cats.

Joe's bud opens the door for him as Joe stated in shock "man, I slept on the bus and when I woke up there was this big whole, made with scissors on my jeans. Who made it? Why? How?

His right hand was interlaced with her left hand and resting on her lap. She cradled their joined hands with her right hand. He wore a baseball cap & she had bright blond hair with

"There are monsters everywhere!" Jorge pleaded. "Little creepy creatures wearing tiny top hats who sing the blues! Also pop songs. You gotta believe me!" Only Rosa believed because

Did I ever tell you about the time a boo tried to bubble on Ms. Watson? It was 1987. Hot, summer, wet, shower. Dean Jenkins had dropped a watermelon on his obdula oblongata

I drew the robe tightly about me and settled down for a nice long nap. But the robe was not a robe. It was a piece of military technology designed to kill me. Awwwkwwarrdd....

I ate my 7th twinkle. "There's an apple on the counter if you want it." my roommate said. Nuuoooo. I then began to turn on the tv and I hear my favorite song ♫

Seti alpha 5, where the finest faux Corinthian leather is obtained for the sleeper vessel berths of the authentic reproduction of the DY100 which transported Khan Noonian Singh

Once there was a boy who had really spiky hair. This wasn't any regular type of spiky hair. He didn't use any gel. They were actually porcupine spikes, but he wasn't born that way.

It's amazing the things you do when you're young. I found my old diary. When I was 8 years old my goal in life was to be a vet for unicorns and narwhals, and to marry Fred from

Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. went the big ghastly

To her credit, the wind was swinging the rope every direction but the one she wanted to go. Following it was never something she would have even considered.

I found a grumpy Dutchman in my kitchen this morning demanding breakfast. "I haven't got cornflakes," I apologised, "only cocoa pops." He slammed his spoon down, a guttural stream

I'm not sure anyone was really surprised the day I screamed some pretty colorful new curse words at my boss, quit my job, and ran off to join the circus.

My history internal assessment was due three hours ago. I was going to fail the IB. It was all her fault. When I first saw her I knew

Out of ideas, the band built robots to play random songs. "We'll steal whatever ROCKS," they said. The next day, the robots stole their guyliner, drums, and van, going on tour in

Donny D'Angelo was so narcissistic he'd go into a hair salon and pay to sit and look at himself in the mirror for 30 minuntes and then say, "Qui bono, Don't change a thing."