He decided that it was time to break up with the newspaper. He'd let the relationship go on for longer than he should have because he was afraid to hurt the paper's feelings.

"Hey, Ninja 2.0! Get your ninja-y little arse over here!" shouted Benny. The ninja slunk up to him silently, a resigned expression on his expressionless face. "What the f*** do you

She came home that night all happy and bubbly and her husband could barely see her behind the big bouquet she had in one arm.Mostly daisies,so he had a pretty good idea on who

"Is it wrong?" he asked. "Wrong? What does wrong even mean?" the umpire said. The batter knocked the dirt off his cleats, "I don't know, socially wrong." The umpire smiled, "Hentai

Let me tell you about dogs. They can lick and eat anything! They are truly free. They can eat poop. I said it, and I don't care. That's so far advanced. Think about how energy effi

Bardok Joto was not ready for this promotion. "I love Mars! I love materiality!" His captain said, "I know, but the corridor between here and M31 is important and its guardians m

But what they've never heard of is Groundhog's night! The sinister gleam in his eye

This is a dangerous country. It's known for killing the elderly on a large scale to reduce health-care cost. Old people wear bracelets with the text 'Don't kill me please', hoping

She opened her eyes and there was only darkness. Where was she? A bright light flicked on, blinding her temporarily. She blinked away the spots in her vision and saw the source

Sometimes I hear things. I don't think that's normal.

Clara slept in a semi-recumbant crouch on the floor, unable to get comfortable. Tired of her life as an overnight paralegal, she desired escape. What was so pressing that it requir

"My name is Electric Nachos", pleased to meat you.

Sheltie looked at Human square in the eye, and began the mind-meld. "Look into my eyes, you are getting very guilty, guilty because you have not give me the bacon."

The last write in ballot was read. The Election official's face dropped. He handed the ballot to the Official Recorder. The note had, in crayon, "Donald Trump."

He was a cliche skateboarder

The Eternal Inflation Lecture Council gathered in the star chamber. The diamond secret had finally escaped. It was inevitable. As the Pulsar Chronicles had always said.

The Magister Ludi tutted. "This is not the Glass Bead Game -- this is some kind of paintball that involves people splattering each other with references and dare I say apothegms!"

I wish I could show you all my new breasts. They look GREAT! No longer can Jefforama call me "Wheelbarrow T*ts." I'm all perky now! With my new-found confidence, I decided to

The million year old Mars rocks fell in the Moroccan desert. It was a chance to look for signs of water or life on the red planet. When we discovered the alien spores, the invasion

"Well," I said, getting comfortable on the couch, "my problems seem to stem from the fact that I'm sexually attracted to garden gnomes." "I see," said Dr. Klumpf, scrolling