Anna was usually a quiet girl. She was always the one sitting in the back of the classroom taking notes or doodling in her notebook. Today was different. She

"I am not a whore, but a space whore!" screamed the senile old man. Long ago he was one of our nation's brightest minds, but now as he sit in the retirement home I can't help but

I will lead you to the two dozen most important practices. It involves a villa, linen envelopes, a screen door sprayed with PAM, and three Albanian

He raised his cosmic Hand and said, "My name is Paul, and I'm a melange addict." The room swam with folksy possibilities from Earth in the 1930s, but they did have good coffee.

My mouth was raw and I could taste the sharp tang of iron. Looking around I didn't have a place to spit to see what was going on in there. I popped another hard candy. Last one for

Avery Brooks poured his heart out in song to improvised melody. Then Shatner butt in waaaay off key, puffy faced and serious

"Push!" she screamed. "Puuuushh!" I was drenched in sweat and the vein on my forehead had popped out again. I strained, but couldn't get it up. "Puuusshh!" "I am!" I cried. The bar

Picture a small ball of light. A small ball of light in a field of darkness. Slowly, the ball of soft white light is expanding, so slowly. It's just gently growing larger, becoming

It was a sweltering August day at the track. I needed Moneymaker to Show to save my month. I also needed to relax so I sparked some doobage. Took a puff and passed it to my grandma

It was a bright spring morning. I headed off to school as usual, but I couldn't stop thinking that something was different about this day. I started to

My spaniel, Birdy, loves me very very much. But if she could find a way of doing it without getting told off, then she'd eat me all up. I have no illusions about this whatsoever

"Russians. Koreans. Wookies. Lego People. Hicks! Burt Reynolds fans! Liposuction!" Suzan kept shouting clues. Mark stared in disbelief. She was the worst Superpassword partner

My aunt has a colostomy bag. She's shown me the bag, and the "stoma." It was so gross, but I felt bad for her so I pretended not to be grossed out. Why? Why must I lie to her?

Once upon a time there was a girl, she lived in a town, she had a favourite book called "Tinkie Winkie". One day she was invited to a party. She had to read her book there. not why

Hello Mary what are you doing today.

Out of ideas, the band built robots to play random songs. "We'll steal whatever ROCKS," they said. The next day, the robots stole their guyliner, drums, and van, going on tour in

The anchor sinking to the sea below, like my life. The water waiting quietly to swallow me whole. What becomes of the anchor? What will become of me? I lean over the edge and watch

"Wot aboot the moonwalkin' parrot there? Give you a quid for im." "What'dya say? "Hello, are ye daft? MJ? He's mee prize, hee iis. Lookit. He kin sing 'Billy Jean's not mee Bird.'

I stopped running. It had started to rain. I didn't want to get my clothes dirty, couldn't spare to get it dirty. I feel like I'm in some kinda movie, why had I chose to run away?

To mark the anniversary of his creation of the universe. God organized a gargantuan firework. A really really Big Bang.