Luckie found himself at the Unicorn races again, with his last eight gold pieces clinking together in his pocket. He was faced with the sad decision of whether to

There I was, stifling my sobs into heavy breathes with my forehead against the exterior glass of the sphere. The door wooshed open behind me, and I turned hear it: "EXTERMINATE!"

He looked like a deep fried scampi in a cheap suit and he was my lawyer. He was Attorney Ackbar and I was his first client, I was facing

Strawberry shortcake showed up at Applebee's very nervous. Her date, (eharmony) was a gentleman named "Grimace." She could identify him because he was large, purple and blobby.

"You are all just salt-water crap buckets who sit on your ass and let yourselves be lied to!" His shriek echoed. Everyone stopped and looked at him. He stared back, eyes hot with

Is it me or is Andy Rooney's face really really really red. Like boiled Dungeness Crabs. Crabs with grey wool coming out of them. I don't even think that is his office.

His mind had been inhabited by that bug. "Why do you mate with other females?" he asked of Christine, looking puzzled. "Explain your reproduction and we can control your species."

I couldn't wait for opening day at my delicatessen, "Tounge in Cheek"

Katie strode into the room, curls flying around her plump ruddy cheeks, her wild eyes wide with passion. "I want that Bircher muesli," she declared. "and I want it now". Dee paused

I stepped out of the burning room. What I had done to deserve such a terrible start to the day? 'We should call the fire brigade,' said Jenny,coughing on a little on the smoke from

Her new boyfriend and son hated each other. She needed something they could bond over. A video game, WII. She needed an edge, so she pepper sprayed the other mothers

it was monster it was the devil from down calling me to hell saying that am most welcomed there saying it was my place but i couldn't resist the life up here on the dear earth

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spagghetti! He's nervous, but

Der gestiefelter Slyvesterkater kam bei mir am 1. Janner zu Besuch. Mit einem Blechtrommelsolo erweckte er mich aus meinem Dornrösschenschlaf. "Ein Königreich für Oropax!" rief ich

"Get back in the gorilla suit," I directed. I could already smell the Oscar. "Action!" Gorilla: My darling, at long last, I've returned. But I have strict orders to eliminate

Hero, my little Ugandan friend, was the Grand Marshall for a New Year's Day Parade.

She was sooo busy. Really busy. Like no time. So she wore Juicy sweats. That's how busy she was. Stopped doing her hair. And made her face dour. She had no time for herself.

Mr. Bojangles, a lovely man at times, enjoyed decapitating dead cats a randomly throwing the heads in kiddie ball pits throughout various children's amusement facilities. One day

"Jimmy, you've been a good skywriter for many years, but it's time for you to brush up on your skycursive." "How come?" "Last week you tried to make 'Marry me' but it looked like

"Turn the music up," he shouted. She could hear his voice through the thin walls of the apartment complex. Who was he shouting to? The music suddenly got ....