We decided to head to Ibiza and eat some pizza, but then I got distracted by the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell which changed my mind and made me begin to crave a Doritios

After contracting alien hand syndrome I thought it'd be great for giving myself "the stranger". But then one day something happened that was not a no worries situation.

It is as they say: "Nice parrots finish last." TomCat had Squawkers pinned the the floor & went in for the kill. "BUT a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush," Squawkers jerked

As a lil' corporate shill, I dreamed up ways to slip pro-Doritos messages into my oral report on "Lazy B". I tried, "Sandra grew up on a Cool Ranch," but Susie sniffed it out and

I ran so fast that my clown nose flew off. "That elephant's hankering for some carny asada. To the getaway cannon!" Uh-oh. Someone stuck a cork in it. "Blasted cork!" My next plan

"Ok son, there's a couple things we need to talk about. First, there's the majora, then don't forget the minora. Also, the party's not over until everyone gets their cookies. Quest

Hello Mary what are you doing today.

She was always a nice young lady but on her 18th birthday she blossomed into a beautiful object. I evaluated her likely sexual gratification/bedding effort ratio and concluded

I had nothing left to live for. But I wasnt going to kill myself. Mainly because I hated the thought that I might get stuck in some sort of purgatory or limbo for eternity. Instead

Aslan's claws tore through the underbrush like Valyrian steel through Orc flesh. He had to reach King's Landing before the White Witch sacrificed Gandalf to the Drowned God.

I woke up in a cold sweat — I'd been dreaming again. I dream every time that I sleep on my back. Always the same dream, I'm curled up in an ice cream cone, a tongue getting closer.

"Hey you guys, look at this bagel I toasted. See a familiar face?" "...Is that..." "Mel Gibson? You bet it is. Now, should we build a Mel Gibson Bagel Museum, or just eat it?"

You're the one who wanted the new hybrid technology; so we got a chicken-powered refrigerator!

Who watches the Watchmen? The Arcturians, the Orionex and the 11th Ephemerid, that's who. Well, and China. Our cosmic friendlies kept watchful eyes on Earth's spylords and waited

Icy blue,hot pink,acid green,pale gray,bright yellow,burned ocher and pitch black

Golden Locks tried so many beds by now she could not remember how she got to the latest one...There was a bear in bed with her and her mouth tasted like...well,not porridge.

"Ack! Save... yourselves," the cavalryman pled as he coughed up blood. "Oh no, he has bronchitis," said the sage, ignoring the cavalryman's case of "throat sword." Further tests

A girl and her brother lived in a nice home in a nice neighborhood. One day, they were playing in their backyard, when a bunch of plants came out of nowhere and started attacking

When townsfolk voiced their beef with how aesthetically unappealing the giant dome would be, The Architect designed a thorny rainforest canopy to do the job. The lush prison craze

It was a classic example of the age-old question: