The called him "Johnny Numbers" but the joke had stopped being funny long before it was ever told. His gigantic tube socks and jean shorts made sure of that.

Finally I had the Harvard degree, the tailored suits, the consulting job, country club pass, the Lexus, & thought I'd arrived in Yuppieland, but then Tom took me on the Metrosexual

if you lay 30 short children end to end they are the same length as a middling size whale. It's also the length of 3 London buses. If you want me to tell you anything else about

"Jip-jop, flip-flop." No one blinked. I said, "JIP_JOP, flip-FLOP!" I could feel them staring at me. The weight of a wall of eyes just staring at you, its very unnerving.

As they spread throughout the galaxy, humans were surprised to find that other beings also believed in astrology. The considerations became increasingly complex, and by the time of

A bores head in the confectionery. News at twelve. Sally looked up from her ironing at the TV. The severed head lay on a Schwarzwald Tort. It was a moment she never forgot

When it rained, it reminded him of his childhood. The boat. Being chubby. Basically, misery.

I missed the starting gun. The first wave of parents had already fanned out & gotten all the easy eggs. My toddler was already way behind. I grabbed his hand & elbowed my way to a

He doffed his top hat to the ladies and made it across the busy intersection. He put on his lemon-colored gloves and took out his cane in a swinging arc. What a perfect day!

It started with a look. Donny and Brooke never could manage to have a peaceful dinner in a fine restaurant. He tilted his fork one more degree. She fidgeted with the tablecloth. Th

My family thinks I'm cloistered in my bedroom because I'm selfish and grumpy. If they believe that, I can never explain that I had a boyfriend and he betrayed me. I AM all alone.

EVIL WAITS IN VENICE. They say this city is beautiful and its customs exotic. I didn't need to leave Michigan to see the world. Now it all becomes the same to me. Corruption gnaws

Bored at a state banquet, George grabbed the rock lobster bedded in shrimp arranged to look like a hammer & sickle and yelled "Food Fight!" lobbing it at Hu. Jintao's bushwacking

And that was that. Somehow we had managed to escape from that angry man storming toward us. Now his ghoulish stare will forevermore be

Peaking deeper into myself I found my soul, a drooping white mess webbed throughout my body, and the realisation that it was

So i rabi and a priest walk into a bar

"You're an "E" away from 'H-O-R-S-E'," Jim said. "Now you have to do a Vince Carter windmill slam with a split landing. If you fail, that sponge cake is mine." A split? Ever since

En una calle de Madrid, cuyo nombre recuerdo perfectamente, pero que prefiero guardar en secreto, por aquello de dar rienda suelta a la imaginación del lector, hace poco que vivía

What is the meaning of life? Is it death? or glory? Or even better,

Tattoo restaurant said the sign over the door. It sounded a bit odd but I was hungry & they were open so I entered. I asked the waitress for the menu, & she replied, "I am the menu