Brad Marigon felt better than he had feared after the soul inspection and vacuuming. When they brought out the black snake, it turned out to be pretty cool, technically. Back in hi

"Buongiorno!" the stout, little man yelled and lifted his hand in greeting. "Sa la ragazza da Ingleterra??"

"Look into the mirror and tell me what you see." He said. "I see a cow.." I told him. "Exactly" he said. "Wait, that's not a mirror, it's a

The moonlight shines as I await the presence of the Dark league warrior and his war hound named Dracos. I'm the queen of this universe, he is to gather the other Dark warriors.

"If you're going to just stand there, I say you ought move to the side and let others through." The stewardess-

"Yea, are you sure you weren't just kissing a mop?" Joked the sergeant...

"Metabolism? Oh, I thought you said 'metal ball ism'".

All our fathers were evil men. Our mothers tell us so in bouts of insurmountable, tear-filled rage. Usually I freeze when I hear the clattering of dishes, but it makes me listen.

It turns out that Grandma was... *SPOILER ALERT* the wolf in disguise! Also Jack's magic beans were real, Goldilocks was in Baby Bear's bed and..

Coleopterametamorphobia: fear of being transformed into a beetle is a rare condition whchi caused F.'s insomnia. While the family cocooned for the Winter, F. wrote his epos "The

My head was pounding; it felt like two elephants playing ping-pong on my forehead. I had the television tuned to CNN, but nobody mentioned anything about the bank heist.

I'm a professional extremist. I'm hired by the opposition to give bombastic, stupid exaggerations of the sensible party online to make the opposition's idiocy pale by comparison.

"Shaking my chicken sauce, shaking my chicken sauce..."

I landed with a dull thud atop a lilly which gave way and I was soon submerged in the pond. The silence of the gold fish was

She was beautiful. She was divine. She was the love of his life. And he wasn't allowed 100 meters of her.

In 1916, at the Cabaret Voltaire in Zurich, a man stands in a suit made of geometric cones. In grim tones, he reads his poetry. "blago bung, blago bung."

The Large welch died when his beady eyes peered into the

The ground was soft. Soft and warm. He looked down to see what kind of surface he was standing on, and it wasn't the ground at all. The grass between his toes was soft pale fur, th

Sopping Wet Joe stopped sopping when he dried himself good. The towl was sopping, but Sopping Wet Joe sopped no longer. "Stopping sopping was the best

In the moonlight blood is no longer scarlet, pretending to be beautiful. It is as black as an abyss.