"Internet porn?" she screamed indignantly, acting as if it wasn't a part of every male teen's life. "That's trash, and I don't want to see any more of it in my house!"

What was so remarkable was that it was the first specific thing I could remember about that night other than walking out of there alive. J. Kelso, my former employer had used

I’d made a habit of hunching my shoulders and frowning when I saw myself in the mirror, practicing toughness that didn’t come naturally to my smirky, jovial face. The older I

The tag on the edge of his bed forbade him from removing it. He worked at the store, but he'd purchased it on an employee plan and would have to return it if he quit within a year

Bubbles flew all around her and bounced against her nose as the parachute fluttered all around her. How she'd gotten on top of it was as much a mystery as how she'd come to

Crisp leaves crackled as he hovered by. He never touched the ground, but the field repelled everything beneath him. There wouldn't be foot prints, but if you measured the compact

The fact that it was a girl making some of those sounds was what got me out of the car and around the side of the station.

I'm the worst procrastinator. At my wedding, I sent an sms to say "We're through" to my Ex just before I said "I do" to my Fiance. The others at the PA meeting weren't impressed.

I realized why my father, even when drunk, only pounded on my bedroom door to wake me in the morning. I suddenly felt somehow responsible for my mother leaving. Reaching for my

Her smile was as infectious as the plague, even to the boys who were told by their fathers not to ever, ever bring an Indian girl home. I didn’t care about any of that. One kiss

She pulled out the credit card. "Ma'am, the bill is over a million dollars, there is no credit card that can handle that," the agent said. "Run it, sonny." This was no ordinary

The Swamp Thing hated, I mean with livid heat, hated Zydeco music. In fact, once someone showed him an accordion and

There may be a karmic reason Antonin Scalia is an anagram for "Anal Inactions." I mean, just yesterday, he

My wife's parents sat at the dinner table. They judge everything I do. The green beans were tepid, the butter cold, but they liked the meatloaf. I said, "You should it's your daugh

His son came to him with a picture of a family, in crayon, holding hands in front of a box house with a smiling yellow sun. His dad hawked a loogey and spat it right on the drawing

Harvey flicked his tail, indicating his displeasure with Maude. Her soul shriveled into little pieces of burnt popcorn. She had served his usual filet mignon, cut into bite-sized

How could I tell it any other way? Words themselves, pictures alone, even the delicate hands of a mime could not convey

Defenseless kittens lazed in the sun outside the second story window. They'd made their way up the precarious awning to the ledge in hopes that the mouse farm's air conditioner

His best guess was that they were five hundred yards away. The binoculars confirmed it. He had to admit to being surprised at this irrelevance when they started moving light speed.

The desert continent became his first conquest, leaving in his wake a sea of glass and smoldering crystalline statues.