I'm so confused about all this sexuality talk. When we were kids it was simple, you put on the fake raccoon mascot head, hide out in the bushes and try to find someone else in a

Stale milk dripped from the walls and the ceiling smelled as if it were made from dung. One day, after the triple-eared guard gave me my food, I finalised my escape plans.

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful but horny princess.

You know you're getting hotter and you know that your life is in danger with every second. What do you do? Run? Fight? Beg for forgiveness? Only you can change life's fate when

"Where's your crown, King nothing?"

Well, I found the rotten way. It's not that you only live once, it's that you only live stupid.

My living room looks like the bottom of a pool.The walls are swimming pool blue & a ripple glass skylight covers the ceiling. At the deep end lies an inflated young Dustin Hoffman

In the morning I have to go see my new therapist. i don't think I want the prodding again. But I know I need it. Ever since the Shrub was elected my affiliation w Consensus Reality

Carl was scanned the text displaying on his screen, "Click here to download GeniusLog to improve your web browsing tools and experience," it said, but Carl just wanted fold stories

Ivan stared at the happy couple dancing in the middle of the room. They were showered with red and pink lights. Ivan seethed his teeth and blinked when a green light flashed

Suddenly everything went black and she couldn't see. She felt the ground shake below her as if it were to open up and swallow her whole.

It isn't every day that I day but almost.

The villains sat at their weekly gathering, tired of a long day of scheming, planning, and conniving. One of them ordered a cup of coffee, while the others pondered over the menu

Back in the day, there was no such thing as Ephemerol to dull the mental noise of the ninnies. So when a great clamor arose over Shanyang's crusty boastings, Lao-tse headed for the

"I will always add to a fold which has mustard in it." she said. We shook our heads. What world was she living in? Her rapid mental degradation had shocked our family to the core.

The fishwife knew perfectly well the herring was off, but she sold it anyway. It was a matter of principle she told herself. What self respecting fishwife would keep a herring that

The latest scientific research shows that the voice box in men & red deer has lowered in order to bellow more effectively. "Hmm, figures," thought Mabeline as a noise like a thousa

I just laughed. The story was completely ridiculous. "You expect me to believe that?" I asked. But Rodrigo was insistent. "I saw it--a lawyer committing a random act of kindness."

What's more he was wearing wizard pajamas and touting red rope licorice in both hands. Clearly this was not the man we were meant to visit tonight. Nevermind that the pjs were

The student gathered in class, plotting, finalizing their waterproof plan after hours & hours of deliberations. This time, we'll succeed in killing our Intro to Mass Comm Professor