It isn't every day that I day but almost.

  • It isn't every day that I day but almost.

  • I became the person I always dreamed I would be, almost. All the traffic lights were green. I was to work on time. I hadn't punched anyone in the face.

  • Pretty good for a Monday morning, all due to my talisman, the Platinum Paperclip of Good Fortune! Today I planned to ask for a raise, but when I reached in my pocket to check

  • for the Platinum Paperclip of Good Fortune it was gone!Retracing my steps I found it wedged under the urinal. Just as I was freeing it using the tines of my comb, my boss walked in

  • and by chance slammed my chin down until it lodged at the base of the chilly, foul-smelling porcelain urinal. I lost the Platinum Paperclip of Good Fortune, and my boss had to pee.

  • "This is the second-worst day of my life," I moaned, my voice echoing slightly against the cold, tile walls as above me, my boss relieved himself into the urinal. Just then, I saw

  • a rolled-up piece of paper fall out of my boss’ underpants as he zipped his fly, turned, and walked out of the john. I grabbed and unrolled the paper to reveal a photo of a naked

  • elderly man with the words : "our little secret" written all over them. The picture shocked me and I didn't know what to do, I couldn't confront my boss in fear of being fired so I

  • pursed my lips, crossed my arms, looked up at the ceiling & sort of lollygagged away from this entire filthy situation. My boss noticed something wrong. "What's wrong? Why are you

  • looking at the ceiling. Are you rolling your eyes at us? Not much of a team player, are you." Any response I could think of would get me fired anyway, so I quit that damn job.



  1. Woab Feb 25 2019 @ 16:45

    A good move, under the circumstances, I would think.

  2. LordVacuity Feb 25 2019 @ 18:53

    I do believe the my line was supposed to be: It isn't every day that I die, but almost.

  3. BlastedHeath Feb 27 2019 @ 13:24

    As written it stretches the language in a good way, though.

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