If everything that is possible must in turn have been possible to be possible, then that which is impossible must likewise be possible to be impossible, and thus all things are pos

"Damn! Those alien bastards are gonna pay for shooting up my ride!"

Dear Josef, I hope that you will make better use of "The Card Tricks of Enoch" than I, a scatterbrain, will ever do. I am old enough to wonder whether I am being manipulative, but

A troll, a mole, and Dave Grohl walk into a Chinese restaurant. They sit at separate tables and each orders 5 courses. Who ordered the chicken fingers?

"Tell me it again. This time with more detail." The beekeeper needed to know everything he could about the attack before he went to the meeting. If a piece of information was lost,

They might have "The Running of the Bulls" in Pamploma Spain, but in Hammond, Wisconsin they have the "Running if the Llamas,"

"Jenney's First Year Latin" was, contrary to popular belief, not written by Jenney, Scudder and Baade as advertised on its spine. No, quite to the contrary. As many young Latin

Taking the Clemizitrol seemed to remove the dizzyness, but left a ringing in his ears, for which he took a double dosage of Thorazine, which had the unfortunate side effect of

Mayor McCheese held his head in his hands. Eventually he opened the bottom left drawer of his desk, where there was a bottle of pills and a service revolver. This was the end.

Dr. Amnesiac was a master of identity theft, but Det.Manatee was sure he'd visited the Tattoo parlor. "Abalone, checked this ink for fluorescence. The map might be hidden under his

I found an enormous blue eye floating in the surf while walking on the beach early one morning. I picked it up and took it home to play a prank on my wife by laying it on my pillow

It takes a great deal of endurance to be employed by a Boss Monster. To be a receptionist taking calls and arranging appointments for heroes to take a crack at him.

One of the flayrods had gone askew, apparently, on the treadle.

Sixty pounds of squirrels empirically weighs sixty pounds, of course, but when you are freighted with the burden of knowing you have slain that many rodents in one afternoon with a

This story I am about to tell you is not funny, so don't laugh when you read it. No matter how bizarre or unrealistic the details may seem, I assure you it is absolutely true.

In the mood for a delicious snack? Me too! First let's slaughter a healthy animal. Then we'll butcher us up a coupla choice cuts of carcass. Let's rub a nice savory blend of herbs

I still couldn't see anything but heard a voice. "You were struck by lightning. Stay calm and follow me." I tried to follow but couldn't. "It's OK. You'll have to leave your body."

Doctor! You have eluded me for eons, but now I, Davros, have captured you and destroyed your precious Tardis! My army of Daleks will rule the universe FOREVER!

"Am I a sexy pillow?"

Ginger or Maryanne? Laverne or Shirley? Wilma or Betty? Jeannie or Samantha? Betty or Veronica? Chrissie or Janet? Jennifer or Bailey? Diane or Rebecca?