What do you call a person who is charming and cold?

Funny

This has been my morning ritual ever since that the day it came back from the dry cleaners all stretched out of shape and with a peculiar odor I couldn't put my finger on.... But

A group of about 50 religious protesters marched around the circle for about two hours at the beginning of the celebration carrying signs that said,

The traitor stood with a match dangling precariously from his finger. The fumes from the gasoline were flaring up around it, marking the saturation building in the room.

She choked on the words, flinching as they stumbled their way over her tongue. She was meant to say "I love you", but lies clung to her throat like phlegm. She gagged on them as

It's time for visions of sugar plums to be dancing in my head. Although, I'm not sure I like

He'd switched careers, moving from programming to the classroom. He kept having to remind himself that kids were not machines. There was such little logic in what they did.

He'd spent three hours constructing shapes in the sand that extruded out so that the sun's shadow would create his proposal. Her face filled with horror. The tidal wave behind him

The shivering young lady wept over the lifeless body of her baby son. She leaned down and kissed his cold forehead saying goodbye to him, he no longer would be living on earth.

"Where's the moke!" she yelled, frustrated by the youngsters inattention to her needs. "When Larissa was here I always had the moke, or anything else I needed."

Dark nights. That's all the Legion of Doom had on the calendar. They had opted to save energy by going to bed early and using natural lights. Bizarro Superman hated this because

He listened to E-40 because it reminded him of his lame summers in Sacramento. His total lack of ambition hidden even to himself behind an emulation of thugs. His manager called

The besotted couple stared at one as they sipped their champagne. He was about to propose, she about to break up with him. The waiter hovered solicitously, but at the wrong times.

My fantasy changed somewhat in that moment to a vision of me shooting my car first, then myself. As my chin sank into my chest in defeat I heard someone crying.

Blank.Nothing.Void.That's the thing about the stare she gave Carl.June gazed into his eyes but,nothing.There was nor love or hate and that made him really mad for having lost

The creature unfurled it's tentacles towards the remaining crew members and bloated forth a hissing so painful that one of the men fell to hia knees and shed a single tear before

Joe was hooked on Twitter from day one. It wasn't until he started thinking all of his thoughts in under 140 characters that he began to see it as a problem.

Finally the Mediation Borg returned with the Inflation Board. It was smirking. Even though they had no emotions, they were programmed with a bouquet of irritating gestures to

Along with a good portion of the country, I am still unemployed.