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  • 43
    Avatar
    I took a sip of my iced coffee and logged into Facebook on my phone for the first time in months. I was just as depressed to see what was happening as I always had been. There was
    Finished
    2013-08-06 20:30:31
    Took
    331 days, 2 hours, 13 minutes, 52 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    And then POW! Out of nowhere, he got it right in the
    Finished
    2013-07-14 23:57:21
    Took
    281 days, 22 hours, 5 minutes, 6 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    "Arthur...ARTHUR..." she croaked. Arthur wouldn't answer. He hated her. Hated her voice, hated her face, hated everything about her. In general, he hated all frogs and this was
    Finished
    2013-03-29 00:18:55
    Took
    164 days, 7 minutes, 17 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    He was hot, she was fugly, together they made
    Finished
    2012-11-29 12:09:29
    Took
    39 days, 18 hours, 4 minutes, 25 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    Somehow, the Universal Monsters had made it onto the ballot, and the day after Election Day, the world was shocked to find that America had voted the Creature from the Black Lagoon
    Finished
    2017-07-15 02:24:20
    Took
    4 years, 267 days, 7 hours, 44 minutes, 18 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    Senator Alistair Jumba and his relatives had ruled Jumba Jumba Land for centuries. So when the Boku Toku Party gained control of parliament, he immediately plotted to have them all
    Finished
    2016-09-25 18:24:07
    Took
    3 years, 339 days, 16 hours, 32 minutes, 59 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    My phone number is 1. Just 1. If you want to call me, just press that number and I will answer any questions you might have.
    Finished
    2017-01-07 19:00:18
    Took
    4 years, 77 days, 22 hours, 59 minutes, 26 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    The ship in a bottle was found in the hold of a three master submerged near the rocky coast off Valparaiso. Curiously the bottle was filled with an unknown spirit. Morton uncorked
    Finished
    2014-12-24 15:12:50
    Took
    2 years, 49 days, 19 hours, 1 minute, 5 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    "OK, say this three times as fast as you can: One smart fellow and he felt smart. Two smart fellow and they felt smart. Three smart fellows and they all felt smart."
    Finished
    2013-09-03 17:12:24
    Took
    298 days, 21 hours, 22 minutes, 32 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    The interrogator slammed his fist down, causing the metal table between us to tremble. "Where have you hidden the bodies?!" His patience was wearing thin.
    Finished
    2013-11-03 11:12:18
    Took
    352 days, 14 hours, 15 minutes, 57 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    After the initial horror then embarrassment, Agent Chalmers was proud of his Zip Drive, installed after a urogenital incident on a field mission. The Chalmers Estate supplied him w
    Finished
    2014-05-17 22:40:31
    Took
    1 year, 182 days, 21 hours, 41 minutes, 8 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    He was the Master Baster. Yes, king of the buttery birds, lord of the plump poultry. And no one, NO ONE would ever guess his secret.
    Finished
    2017-02-09 08:19:45
    Took
    4 years, 85 days, 11 hours, 6 minutes, 56 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    The protosoul received a bottle containing one bitter pill. The prescription read "To be taken before birth on an empty stomach. Side effects. nausea, boredom, depression, death."
    Finished
    2014-07-05 20:11:02
    Took
    1 year, 225 days, 19 hours, 1 minute, 33 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    I have a great idea for a business for anyone who is unemployed. I call it "The Erotic Soup Company" and all you need is a hotplate, a pot, water, a spoon, and a street corner.
    Finished
    2017-01-07 18:55:48
    Took
    4 years, 38 days, 4 hours, 54 minutes, 11 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    The jeans fit like a 2nd skin, holes & worn patches just right. The label read: Priscilla's Preworne Fashion. In the pocket Jill found a note "Preworn by PW#3: 310 616-0139."
    Finished
    2017-01-20 14:22:35
    Took
    4 years, 49 days, 23 hours, 23 minutes, 16 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    Health consequences aside, and speaking purely in terms of calorie/dollar efficiency, it's clear that the best food currently available is
    Finished
    2016-10-08 15:19:58
    Took
    3 years, 309 days, 17 hours, 38 minutes, 5 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    He opened the press and added the ink. Using her skin at the poster board was a sparkling little inspiration he'd gotten when she bent over to get the meatloaf out of the
    Finished
    2013-05-13 12:41:16
    Took
    151 days, 10 hours, 35 minutes, 53 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    Doris looked dubiously over at Floyd, who was out on the dance floor. "And this...one," he panted, "is called...the flying kielbasa..." His noticeably sweaty armpits looked like
    Finished
    2017-09-13 15:35:45
    Took
    4 years, 244 days, 10 hours, 37 minutes, 43 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    "Most wizards are gay, that's why I wanted to touch your knee." said the old sorcerer. "When you signed up to be my apprentice, making yourself available was in the small print"..
    Finished
    2016-05-18 01:54:22
    Took
    3 years, 119 days, 2 hours, 48 minutes, 36 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    They crinkled their noses, wondering what could make the room smell like this. Sally walked in and almost puked. There in the corner of the room was
    Finished
    2018-03-13 11:36:31
    Took
    5 years, 40 days, 17 hours, 57 minutes, 19 seconds
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