Ninja spider drinks its victims blood in the dark recesses of our warmest homes. Ninja spider is never caught in the bathtub being sprayed by hot water.

Mark had been standing at the altar for 45 minutes, but he was willing to give Jess the benefit of the doubt. His "innocent until proven jilty" outlook came back to bite him when

“Apology accepted, Captain Needa.” Said Captain Tebow. Needa was the rookie from Wisconsin who was co-Captain with Tebow in today's scrimmage against

I was a latchkey kid. We moved a lot, too. I never got a handle on settling down to a future that would inevitably change. One day on the way home, two roads. I took the safe way.

I made a pilgrimage to Glenturret distillery for two reasons: 1) The Naked Grouse was my house whiskey & 2) I had a mouse problem & wanted to hire their mouser softpaw Towser Jr.

Homo neanderthalis had a tendency to eschew sex in favor of playing pinochle. Thus the sex=meh gene doomed them to extinction where as Homo sapiens sex=fun gene meant that

Answer me this: Is there anything creepier than a monkey wearing a diaper? Maybe

"Don't Wake Me Except For Fighting, Fishing, or F_ _ _ ing", read the sleepmask. The small letters were embroidered in gold thread. "Bingo" had been crossed out and replaced with

Pythia had gorged on Gigantes Plaki again & had terrible gas. She expected illustrious company for an important session of gastromancy. Plato was consulting the Oracle of Delphi

Such were the days that Montaro dreaded. The sun, bright overhead, reminded him only that he had flown too close to the metaphorical sun that was limitless anonymous sex

Bardok Joto was not ready for this promotion. "I love Mars! I love materiality!" His captain said, "I know, but the corridor between here and M31 is important and its guardians m

Do you miss the good old days? Do you wish you could have it all back? Well, now you can! Just follow these nine easy steps:

I dont have the facts to back this up, but I believe that cheetos are magical elf droppings. I also believe that

My mother was a prostitute. I was born off the highway somewhere. My mother was just finishing up zipping up her John when she went into labor. This is how my story begins.

Uh, I only have time to do just this one fold, so could you please hurry up and make it a good one? That'd be great, thanks.

Call me Ishmael.

As I wandered through Azhuribad, a small woman with a wrinkled face and bright silver eyes ran after me with a bundle in a red scarf , brushing aside the young beggars. "Na!" she s

My mother makes the best gravel.

The tutu really made his outfit, he thought. Why he hadn't worn them before was a mystery, but seeing the envious stares of his coworkers as he walked into Taco Bell, waving his

Un joven de pelo rubio asomó su cabeza por la ventanilla