Once upon a time, there was a big bear.

It all started when I found my grandfather's old passport. There were stamps from Japan, Nigeria and Bolivia. And all in the 1920s. What was he doing there? And why the pinecones?

Father Brown's peach crop needed a boost, so he injected his peaches with testosterone to accelerate their growth. This led to especially massive, fuzzy peaches that sold for

Sixty pounds of squirrels empirically weighs sixty pounds, of course, but when you are freighted with the burden of knowing you have slain that many rodents in one afternoon with a

A million galaxies burst in his mind as he pondered the endless possibilities that lay before him . What to do he thought. Then it hit him.

Although your kitchen may appear safe at first, there is an evil lurking, an abomination of untold proportions, if the dishes are left in the sink long enough then you

Jherek Manatee rechecked Schiaparelli's map, entered the coordinates of the fabled crystal city, raised the magnetic shields of his reentry shuttle and buckled himself in for

Secretart was a super hero for the sex-obsessed 21st century.

Picard glared at Number One. How could he forget to stock up on little wrapped bathroom soaps at Starbase 17? Crew morale depended on those! And they couldn't use the tea dispenser

My Aunt Martha had terrible breath. But how could I tell her when I knew full well that she was leaving me 2.3 million dollars in her will? Keeping my eyes fixed on her pock-marke

Perry,the parrot -- even he thought it was too obvious,but...-- was changing feathers so Marcia made him

Writing stories is like giving birth. Some stories slip out nice& easy. Others need a bit of pain medication & some pushing. Still others require the barbaric use of forceps. This

I lay stricken in my coffin as the train rolled through the night. No storms, no derailment, no service. The passengers were all commonplace, and lacking in life force. I hoped for

Francis van Loewe woke early with fireworks in his belly. An auspicious day, one of portentious omen. His gut told him get up on the right side, but put on the left slipper first.

Whose idea it was to combine aerosol whipped cream with misted Red Bull would not be invited to my Niece's Birthday party ever again.

"If this legend is true Wolfgang, we should stop digging now. The Euphrates used to pass here at the base of the city gates of Uruk. What if Gilgamesh returns?" "Pah! Superstitious

The room spun - not really, it was in his head, but the net effect was the same: he lost his lunch on the old woman sitting next to him at the conference. The look of horror on her

Gil prepared for every scenario. His airbags -- always deployed. His backup flashlight battery charger -- charged. His dying suit -- on at all times. But even Gil hadn’t foreseen

Saucers over our battlefields -- that's all we need to know. They never came down to shame us. "Not quite ready," they probably wrote in their notes. Emanators watched the Saucer P

A man will only marry out of love or necessity. Anything love demands is a necessity. These were my thoughts as I drove through the morning fog into Vicksburg. Love or necessity.