The girl from Ipanema wasn't as he imagined her. Gentle like a summer samba. He waited for her in the bar. Each day a girl passed, but it wasn't her.

Nom nom nom nom nom. The giant sloth munched on the pile of Reece's cups. He turned his head, threw up, and then began eating more. Oh, why was he so fat, he wondered.

Hello? Hellloooo? Something wasn't right. There was nothing obviously wrong and I don't believe in heeby jeeby spider sense but something inside me was pulsing *danger*. I stepped

Jim was a weeds farmer. But wherever he planted his weeds seeds, nothing sprouted. "Where do all the weeds go?" he asked the heavens as his downward-growing weeds emerged in

One day in Millcreek

"I guess I'll run away." Jake sighed. He looked at Finn who was sleeping.

In his youth, Chuck said "an hr ironing is a wasted hr", a life long bachelor, he discovered the Zen of Ironing in old age. "No 2 folds are alike. The Hindu Kush in my monday shirt

I knew South-London would never feel the same without my dearest friend, Jane, to cart me around all the shops I found boring. Everything was better with her around. In the summer,

So I says to him, did you steal my toaster? Hey! you steal my bloody toaster?

I was at home hearing my old fashioned radio when a thunder struck a near by building. I jumped up in horrer and ran to my window I saw something unbelievable, I rubbed my eyes and

Why, yes...yes, I do believe those pants indeed make you look fat. He smiled then and crossed his arms.

Military androids marched in perfect lockstep across the concrete training ground. Their perfect forms reflected the harsh light of twin suns at their daily apex. The whistle of

A Twilight synopsis: [They like each other. A lot.] A FiftyShades synopsis: [They do it. A lot. Under his expert touch.] A HarryPotter synopsis: [Love is more powerful than hate.]

I just finished up a new section of code that I hoped would save my job at Innetech. When I loaded onto the main server, everything crashed, and my screen cracked. Inside the crack

So one time I saw this chick walk down the street. She was Mexican, or maybe some type of Italian, but damn she had a booty!

FIRST PERSON TO MAKE A FOLD IN THIS STORY!!!

The saucer landed on the landing field. Gramps disembarked, full of stories of planets he had buzzed. Xerel's Dad teeked: "Be kind, you lazy traveler, you." Granny Hargrok smirkled

Sixteen cheerleaders stood leering at me. I had miscalculated the timing of their return to the locker room and now had been caught with my pants down and a pair of panties on my

They were sold out of tickets for the matinee of "Wicked", but some guy on the street sold me front-row seats to "Puffed Wheat! The Musical" for dirt cheap. I hope Marlene

Charles was poised, ready to strike. Assembled before him were bottles of ink, calligraphy pens, and even a quill or two. Sheets of paper lined the desk. It was finally time to