once apon a time an assassin by the name of ellie Thurman was delivered the task of capturing and killing Justin Bieber, after that she had to kill again. Connor Maynard

This story never ends, for when it concludes the very same events unfold just as I am going to relate to you now, & it is all my fault. I should have never have taken the drifter's

"Sorry I'm late," said Dale as he rushed to his seat. The other members of Artisans Anonymous scoffed. Leave it to the Watchmaker to be 20 minutes late. More irony ensued when

'How did this happen... I got myself into this mess, though, now I just need to get out.' I thought to myself, looking down at the chocolaty mess covering my new dress.

She was thirsty. Boy, was she thirsty. Her mouth felt as if someone had run sandpaper over her tongue and then stuffed it with sawdust. She squinted her eyes against the glaring

We're sorry, but there was an internal error while processing your fold. Your fold was not added to the story. Please copy your fold:

One time I forced a poop and this first attempt to "rush the kids in the pool" Ended with a "ahh Hnnn" POOT POOT schlllltPLOP wipe. This new found despotism of time now allows me

"Good morning! How are you?" He vibrated with rage. "How in hell would that be any of your damn business?! I'm fed up with your intrusive questions. By the way, how are you?"

Don't cry out loud. Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings.

She had trapped this rich bastard in an air tight underwater Mini. He could scream but no one would hear him. He could only communicate to her through a walkie-talkie and she

The crybaby pizza bandit struck again in Montana. He left the cash, but walked away with a large peperoni and wings. Police need your help catching the bandana wearing con man.

Gallantry is often used in respect of actions that are not gallant. When seeking to appeal to the fairer sex it is how gentleman-like your behaviour is that shall determine

Initially he had thought the shrink ray was a lame invention, but when he realized he could shrink whole cows and sautee them in a little butter and garlic, he realized the true

Parts: torso, legs, arms, feet, hands, head, brain & other organs in marked jars. Defibrillator. Surgical instruments. Instructions: unpack non-organs & remove gangrene

Garth never like Jimi Hendrix. Honestly. He knew Hendrix's guitar skills were really good. But he had never drove around listening to Hendrix. He listened mostly out of fear that

Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived in a shining castle made of ...

Hypothesis: Warning labels are for pussies. Procedure: 1) Take more than twelve aspirins in one day; 2) Get drunk, then operate machinery; and 3) Swallow Listerine. Conclusion:

"Our highrise buildings are highest quality. Earthquake proof, efficient recirculation cooling..." "The Sheik would like to know, can you put make his rooftop swimming pool shaped

A moose once bit my sister.

As I laid in the acupuncturists table waiting for the elderly chinese man to stick needles in my tummy for my severe constipation problem, I thought about all the times that I had