One day, I was at my friends house and we were going to go to Walmart. We decided to run there instead of driving there, so when we were running there we saw a talking and dancing

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned," she said. But the priest reacted unusually. "Oh, good Lord, Marie, you confessed three hours ago. What could you have done in that time?

If you look at it, I mean really look, it's obvious that it was photoshopped. That may be my head, but those aren't my hands and I've never

"What is this?" "Just take it." "I'm not kidding" "Me neither. It's a failsafe. For that kind of event, when things go pancake-shaped." "To put it mildly." Things have to be really

The money. Hell no. Where had i left it? Searching, looking, not finding. Under the mattress? No. Then i heard a car pull up outside. A door flung open with breakneck speed. It was

Chester took a second to remember. “Shut the fuck up” was all he could muster before shoving his hands into his pockets. The weather was cold and nerves always made it worse.

This is a test of the emergencey broadcast system. If this had been an actual emergency,

I heard another knock at the door. "Who is it?" I asked exasperatedly. "YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!" replied my grandma. "Third time today," I muttered as I opened the door only to find

Blue's Clues went over to the producer's leg and started humping it. It'd been a long time

He was watching the crow. That's when he noticed a little black staircase lower from its stomach. Tiny little elves were deplaning out of the crow's chest.

Ordinarily, there is more to do at the mall. With all my friends busy, I decided to visit Victoria Secret. I am enamored by the detail in the mannequins. So sexy, but this one was

Tarde al la escuela , y el hijo , se quedó con la maestra.Entonces ya eran las 20:35 y la madre , se enbobó al ver al niño. Despues de un par de semanas , llamaron a la mama.

"Hey Toby, have you been hangin' out with hookers in Missoula?", She asked him point blank.

The crazy oldman lived the rest of his life being hated, completely broke, and... in love with a pigeon... This is hell... I am in hell. I am like an electric Jesus

Peter sat down in confessional. "In my day," he thought to himself, "it took a Roman with a sword to make anybody confess." He tried peering through the wooden screen, but the

Flying Hippos of Doom have take over New York City. The military has been overun by these beasts. So I took action with

Immunity in those days was just a vague idea. No one was sure what it meant exactly. Would it make you immortal? Could everyone attain Immunity? Sally pondered over this as she st

The stench permeated the entire cave. There was no mistaking it, we had reached the lair of evil incarnate, death given mortal form -- B'chugerroth, lawgiver and master of the void

Joe was hooked on Twitter from day one. It wasn't until he started thinking all of his thoughts in under 140 characters that he began to see it as a problem.

Her kids loved dinosaurs, but she couldn't take them to the natural history museum with its lies about evolution and how the earth had existed longer than the Bible said.