It is the morning of Oct.12, and the clock is striking seven. As usual, I'm at the center of this city - Intersection 24. "This section has been blocked..." A big loudspeaker on a

Why are you here on this planet? At first I'm stunned. What do you mean why I'm here. I'm here because my parents got married. I don't really know whether they planned to have a ba

Wall Street was already capturing an out-sized portion of total U.S. profits and revenues, and the military-industrial complex was already running amok in a number of small nations

He had fallen asleep at the keyboarddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

A scarecrow, a lion, and a tin woodsman walk into a bar. The tin woodsman orders a pint of oil, the scarecrow asks for a haymaker, and the lion requests a

Mission Log Entry 1: "3 a.m. My tent collapses again. I hope the cheap TVs will be worth it. The mother of 3 behind me gives me dirty looks. Can I trust her? Ooh, a door opens!"

Rain puddles. What glorious, gloomy, gloppy ways to celebrate autumn! And *that* one looked like one of the gloppiest best. Sinjohn burst into a sprint, gathering himself to leap

His film career long in the shitter, Macaulay Culkin now spends his days forging horseshoe culkins, caulking video game level designs, and helping his dad's tile-caulking business.

"What about a pop-up book?" "She's an adult. Folded up pieces of paper. That's kids stuff." The clerk lowered his voice. "I'm talking about adult pop-up books." He slowly opened a

"OH. MY. GOD. Will you stop playing Friday just this once?! that was, like, 2 years ago!"My sister screamed "NOPE! But Chuck Testa Might" I Replied. "i'll go get the Poptart and

This is your brain.

How men calculate:"The shoes cost 299$!?" How women calculate: "Well they were marked down from 599$ & I got this matching purse for only 199$ which is normally 399$ so I saved you

there once was a bear

Two men, one short and one tall, sit in a desert. They wear bowler hats and there is a lone tree in the foreground. The tall man says, "The bus should have been here by now."

Vanessa Conquest's fingers fluttered like french fries in a bingo hopper. Her husband and her boy-toy were both missing, and she didn't want the police involved. The scent of money

"shut up!!" he yelled at his annoying grandmother that he had just addopted the other day. he hadn't quite gotten used to having her around and she would not stop talking

Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga, Aroooga,

In the back of my mind, I expected to fail.

I had given up trying to be an expert home chef, but I couldn't give up the fix-it. So I found uses for some of my old items. Mustard seed make great temporary ball bearings. Meat

The lock was rusted shut, so I broke it with a crowbar. Opened the barn doors and there she was. 67 goat with 30 years of dust and mouse dirt. But I was determined to give