Ted Turner was finally broke. Sure, he had a lot to say, but no one cared anymore. The awful truth was that he was the equivalent of

Wrestle Mania was blaring from the Taverns flat screen at full volume. Stale beer and tobacco odors cloyingly hung in the air. A breeze from the front door lifted the tutu's of

Michelle's smell caused Biden's eyes to explore her neck and decolletee. The moment melted into an intimate crossroads. Any time to consider the paths would lead to shame, he kisse

Darla stepped out of the time machine into a world that little resembled the one she left moments before. Where were the trees, and what was that awful odor? She'd have to try

There's nothing I can't do. There's nothing I can't do. There's nothing I can't do. Whew. OK. Whew. Whew. Here goes

My family thinks I'm cloistered in my bedroom because I'm selfish and grumpy. If they believe that, I can never explain that I had a boyfriend and he betrayed me. I AM all alone.

"What's the big deal if I was making out with some other dude on the dance floor? I didn't know his name, so it didn't mean anything."

The first facepalm came when I erronneously marked the Folding Story email as "spam". The second came when I couldn't find the address in the block list to unblock. Oh god, why?

"Look, I've got a lot on my plate! Have YOU ever built a teleporter in YOUR backyard?"

"What did I say about electronic devices?" "Just checking the score, ma'am... ah, we're ahead by four. And while I'm online, I'll update my blog..." As the plane spiraled downward,

They need to invent a new monster, something scary. I like vampires and zombies and stuff, but like they beat that horse to death, we need something totally freaky and new like

The Zombie Master of Zombie Zen teachings climbed the hill and saw the zombie crowd that had gathered to listen him. The Zombie Master scratched his eye socket and began to talk:

There I was, looking down the end of the tunnel, and believe it or not, the light was NOT on. So I turned around and tried to

"Far from me to desagree,but maybe we better not wake the Master!After all,is it an emergency?I mean,do we really need to ask him what blood type to serve?"The kitchen on Dracula's

I beat my mate at darts and stinky farts last night. He wasn't too pleased. He'd held both records for 2 years running. Tonight it's the burping contest and I'm eating lots of

EVIL WAITS IN VENICE. They say this city is beautiful and its customs exotic. I didn't need to leave Michigan to see the world. Now it all becomes the same to me. Corruption gnaws

"I swear, I just wanted to buy a kite! Rapul's got the best!" "Sure, sure, fine. But the Taliban are never going to believe that. You better leave out the back; fast." I ran for

Before winning the Minnesota American Teen Princess pageant, Amber had had no idea how busy her life would become. It seemed that, as part of th contest, each winner was required

"so, any last remarks, Bieber?" "No, Sir" The disgrace was now hanging by a thread looped around his big toe. Below him, was the Japanese volcano Sacwanjoho. "So, bieber, any idea

The Mandible of the Apocalypse was forlorn. It lacked a soul-mate with which to conduct appropriate mandibular activities. The Mandible gnashed silently. The gears of the metacosm