"But the economy is in the shitter, and for once I want to report the truth!" But Rupert Murdoch squeezed his head and said

He hated her. She was smart. She envied him because he was dumb. This is how

'Don't worry about the problem' he said. 'Just think of it as an egg with gold hidden deep inside it.' To try and solve the problem you must try to find twenty ways of dealing with

I was finally on my way outta the joint after the bum Grand Theft Auto rap that got pinned on me. My cousin Tony had come up on a Caddy and when he got pinched by the fuzz he put

Ursula venía de viaje, llevaba un traje poco adecuado para la ocasión, pero de todos modos

As a purple giant elephant that lives in the sky, I am required to spell everything correctly. However, as I have no hands, it is very difficult for me to spell, so i hire a

'Dear Sandra' the Email began, 'I know what I said last in the back of the car about what I felt for you, but in truth it was all lies. What I meant to say was that I thought you

Julie had just taken a sip of kool-aid when she happened to look down and discover a large, black roach floating against the edge of the glass. It's little legs scurrying.

Seven years ago I found a hat made of the finest silk. It was blue and looked to have never been worn. I found in it the old dumpster outside the strip club. Problem is, it was too

"The babysitter isn't dead,"I told myself as I ate my illegal bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup, "she's sleeping". I watched I Love Lucy and picked lint off the couch.

Ugh my mother makes me so mad. After are argument lastnight i was so upset. I mean really was it that bad of a request? All I asked for was to

This year our teacher fell out of his desk

i wonder if there could ever be aliens because

i started going to dacula high school when everybody knew i was not from there, i had just walked into the building when

One day, while a young girl was on vacation, she and her family went swimming in the Ocean. Suddenly, a whirlpool began to drag her down. In a panic, she

"Now, eyes focused on me. Keep your ams out from your sides as far as you can. The rope is right in front of you. Take it easy. Breathe. I said DON'T LOOK DOWN!"

running out of time, scooter quickly activated the power bringing him to the theater room were juggernuat was then as he killed thew crawler he heard an evil girl laugh and say

After I invented and mass produced my secretly crack-infused cookie cracker (aptly named CRACK!) I was filthy stinking rich. I started the requisite non-profit charities and such b

So I alone. folding clothes. Stupid Gap store. Clear the register. Then I do something that I wanted to do for a loooooong, time, I kiss the mannequin in the chinos

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