"Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer," Elton said softly, slowly. But TD pirouetted away and giggled. "First, count the headlights on the highway!" she said teasingly. Infuriated,

The following folding story was brought to you by the letter "R" and the number 2.45987974534

"Is she dead mommy?" the cat was laying on the floor lifeless. But how can you tell a three year old that her cat she had for two days died. She poked the cat and asked again

"Make it so Number one." Captain Charile Brown held up his two fingers and said, "Engage." Captain Brown's number one was Lucie. Woodstock put the Enterprise into

Once upon a time there was a girl, she lived in a town, she had a favourite book called "Tinkie Winkie". One day she was invited to a party. She had to read her book there. not why

Detlef was a typical German beer purist, always spouting off about the 'Reinheitsgebot' but I was going to convert him with my batch of Holy Burning Goat Scrotum Ale.

Joe RavenCrow cast the circle and tuned his field. "O Mighty Kool Aid Man, hear my call! Please help me with my drinking problem. I ask this in your name. Oh Yeah!" The wind stirre

The FFS Mandible drifted through ultraspace. The replicator was busted, the nearest Costco was 500 parsecs away and the crew was out of beer, pretzels and taco pizzas. Cap'n Storm

Tick. Tock. The time was passing by so slowly. I glared at the clock and willed it to go faster. Nothing happened of course. I tried to pay attention to the droning of the teacher'

...This is your brain on drugs... now with a slice of bacon and some hash browns. Don't forget the orange juice. The Big Drug Slammers Special... available at Denny's.

"Bra Burners" was new on the gritty Hammond biker bar strip. They served tea, scones, crepe, and drinks with little paper parasols, Ethel, Getrude &Rosy's blue hair and buff

"The sound effect you just used to describe it implies that you think taking a poo is a lot like blowing up a long balloon," said the bookish apartment manager scratching his

I was paralyzed. All I could do was watch the ghostly white Count open his maw to drink the blood from my neck but when I saw his teeth, instead of two sharp fangs, two cashews

Frank filled up the dolls with sand & lead weights, screwed their heads on & heaved them into the jogging stroller, put on his running tights & strapped on his water bottles.

The ninja killed him, slashing brutally across his chest. He had no chance. The samurai guardsmen came running, yelling "Intruder in the castle!" but it was too late, he was gone.

So I says to him, did you steal my toaster? Hey! you steal my bloody toaster?

The woman stood there with the smoking gun in her hand. Her victim lay there, still as anything.

Oh how we taunted the Mechanoids after they toasted all the organic creatures of the Seventh Arm. So what if they were post-organic -- we were post-material Hah! Mecha Master 2708

She laid down to fall asleep but that didn't stand a chance. She kept thinking about the day that passed and wanted nothing more than to dance. Her eyes lit up and she imagined the

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