The fact that my face was a porcupine wasn't going to help my chances with her.

I wasn't always a bum. I used to be someone. I used to be rich and powerful. Until I met her.

"Go home, drunk. You're Lary," Lary screamed. He mounted the bar and began dancing the tango with his beer stein. He left that night with a few head injuries and a pile of reckless

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Don Parker glided onto the stage and waved graciously at the screaming fans who filled the television studio. His new variety show, Celebrity Sex Tape, was the surprise hit of

I wish that I was born a thousand years ago. I wish I'd sailed the darkened seas on a great big clipper ship going from this land here to that, in a sailor's suit and cap.

In an homage to a recently completed story I decided to start a fold by playing a random song on iTunes & basing my fold on the lyrics. Naturally the first thing that came up was

Just as SpaceShip Two reached the zenith of its arc Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Leonardo DiCaprio and Ashton Kutcher lost their lunch. The complementary peanuts floated in the cabin

"It's 'Kraken Whispers' all over again for all the good our diplomats have done!" Jarrod collapsed on the divan as the horrible reports came out of the radio from the far planet he

Dear Editor: I believe I have an improvement. Can I have a do-over? Dear Sir: This isn't a game of stickball. We just spent $600,000 to publish your Complete Guide to

"I would never punt my son," she claimed. I chuckled at her naieveté and said, "What if a maniac sets up a doomsday device, and he'll only shut it off if you punt your son? Hmmm?"

Nathusius Pipistrelle set out from Blagdon to Oct. 4 2012 to visit his distant cousin, Vespadelus Pipistrelle who lived in a bat box in Schiermonnikoog. It was a trecherous journey

He was lactose intolerant, that was not the only reason for killing the milkman; you see the milkman was a workaholic: he was Mr Whippy in his weekends, a cheese maker on monday

This is my 100th fold. Let us celebrate this momentous occasion!

Elijah had an interview scheduled that was going to determine whether or not he would be given his dream job. He was nervous and didn't know what to do; he paced back and forth.

There once was a boy named Romario, he liked to play soccer. One day he was outside playing in his front yard and all of a sudden

"Blow the tard!" Fagan scriffed. "Quilous...Quilous!!" But the tard mustilated afore Egan could quill it. The tarx tittified greevingly until Fagan swomped testyward. "Egan, you

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Hooked up to Google's mandatory rape machines, we pass our rape with illegal surrealist films, such as "Homeward Bound". What were dogs? What is a cat? Strange green monuments jut

Ever get that nagging feeling at the back of your neck? No, not my dog trying to pull me from this fire. I mean the notion this has happened before. That this is all deja vu.