Debbie couldn't sleep. The results of the European elections were due & she couldn't wait to discover the new composition of the European Parliament. She heard a sound from the riv

Stanley pulled his buzzing phone out of his pocket. "Yellow?"

"You got a fast car. I want a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we make a deal?" the scruffy hobo rasped as he leaned against my Lamborghini. "YOLO," I replied. "Get in & hold on."

George woke to the sound of drumming. Not birdsong, like most mornings, or even a bustling band of cyclists parading down the street at 6 AM. He pulled back the drapes and saw

And now the story of how I got that scar. Lenny "The Knife" and I were out tipping a few whiskeys one night. Lenny was talking to this girl with an intricate facial tattoo of a key

There once was a man named Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. He was shot in the head on accident after attempting suicide with the same gun. He was resurrected and then he

The dog wagged his tail.yelping and barking as he searched the ground with his nose

We arranged to meet at The Dolphin at Whitby. To blend in with the locals, I wore black lipstick & patent leather thigh boots. Wilbur wore a black cape lined with red silk & talcum

Murdock Lipschitz carefully removed the cylinder he'd labeled with RADIOACTIVE WASTE nearly three decades earlier from the vault at the back of the lab. He unscrewed the lid and pu

Chance finally offered some support. "I know what it's like to be an outsider." Jurtok flexed its spiroclasms. "Do you?! Do you really?!!" Jherelia observed from nearby yet afar.

Since I've had a moustache and glasses drawn on my face with an indelible Sharpie, women are drawn irresistibly to me. Or is it the Lynx?

"GET THAT BIRD OUT OF THE OVEN!"

Tuesdays are the day I get the most done. Most Tuesdays, but this one was different. My cat Wednesday was sick this particular Tuesday. She'd been sick since Friday. All Sunday

Nobody expects hipsters to be non-hipsters by going against the grain. drunk man argued with me to no end that hipsters did things that weren’t hip, in a

The three little pigs decided it was time to come out of the closet and tell everyone the truth. They'd been living as "roommates" for years but in reality they were

It was dark, I could hear them outside, but I didn't want to move in case they heard me.

He went to Bhutan

My girlfriend loves chocolate, so I thought what better present? I had myself delivered to her apartment in a large box with a sash, encased in a life-sized chocolate Santa Claus.

Either I'd been reading too much Douglas Adams lately, or there was really a guy extending his hand to me and introducing himself with:'Hi, my name is Iphone'. 'Sure, and the Earth

Monkeys don't wear shoes, how could I've been so stupid? The half-monkey sneered at me and took my cell phone. He sniffed it and decided it was useless. There goes my escape route.