Let me tell you, being Noah's neighbors on the cul de sac is no picnic. All that builder racket, and I know for a FACT that that friggin ark is one cubit into my lawn. I've a good

The Donkey was very large and looked like it could crash a whole town in a matter of minutes.

When she walked into my office, I knew that this was going to be a day that I would always remember. She wore

He was Mehdi, Chemical Ali's brother and

I knew I shouldn't have done it, but our relationship has always been adversarial in the extreme. When she challenged me on what other ways there were to skin a cat, the gauntlet

Cowboy TV got his friends Wizard Microwave, Pirate Phone, and Berserker Stereo together to take out Pimp Monitor and Ninja Radio once and for all! Their plan was to

I didn’t want to get out of the car and go back in the house. My rust colored El Camino’s battery was in the fifteenth round and was against the ropes pissing blood.

My father, uninterested in sticking around for the next life saving maneuver, had stumbled back into his old truck and swerved off toward the liquor store.

The sobs were louder but were interrupted by a staccato of defiant grunts and the sounds of fists hitting flesh. I’d seen and heard plenty of street fights in my seventeen years

Iris wheeled around and punched Ronny in his buck teeth, causing him to spin backward as his two bottle openers popped free in a splash of blood that also opened up the skin on her

Sometime while I waited, Iris sat back and pulled out a cigarette. I burned the last of the battery using the cigarette lighter in the dash and sat there while she smoked. After

She continued to slather him in hot gooey caramel. He continued to cry incessantly as he begged for more. Mother couldn't believe what she had heard, this time she

The new marketing guy appeared to have missed the point of the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty when he hired 14 "Dove Bitches" to work the trade show. Show 'hos he called them.

My neighbor's dog was always howling at the moon. All night, all I could hear was that bloody howling. I needed to do something, but what? It was such a

Jemima was filled with a dark and familiar sense of foreboding as she read the message scratched into the gnarly tree bark. This could mean only one thing: the otters were back.

K-dizzle was an amazing child. A delightful addition to the family. She grew to be a just as amazing young lady. Known for her

I'm in a roll.Up until now I've writen fifty of the eighty invitations to the stupid bachelor party my stupid friend made me throw for him."By hand!" he insisted when I mentioned e

She stood there dripping wet. Oh how he loved that look. All three breasts heaved against the thin white shirt. Wait, 3 breasts? Have I died

So here it is 7:48 in the morning. I just took a swig of oj and apparently my fridge broke last night. It was hot and tasted like sweaty ass. Geez I wonder what the rest of the day

The bright stars glowed with a passion, as if they were brimming with pride. Against the blue hues of the sky, they stood out like