Grandmother turned her head just a little too far to still be alive, and to still be human. The sound of bones grinding and popping as she did, also didn't help her convince me

Eddie sat in the kitchen, back to the picture window, using the natural late morning light to read the daily paper. He was supposed to be looking at the want ads, but

As he read, the blood drained from his face. Almost reflexively, he looked over his right shoulder, out the window and toward the dip in Madden Road about a half block from his

You awaken on the banks of a cactus-lined river of acid. You wonder aloud at the sexy tickle in your lower pendiculum. Safron (had you dreamed her?) had warned you sternly not to

You cannot control me. I can still move my lips. So long as I can lip sync you can't own my soul. I'll just lay here and sing "This Magic Moment," and let the tears run

Dick's array of attention whores brought him wealth and popularity, along with recurring VD and criticism. His wealth allowed him to buy the site, www.richasshole.com, with

It was her worst nightmare. She was the first woman president in US history. She was also a germaphobe. The campaign had almost killed her, now 4 years of this? She called

His t-shirt read "Body by Nintendo" and hugged the curves of his belly and man boobs. Yet, I found him strangely alluring. His nerd boy charms trumped any male model.

The nudist colony had been a great little business back in the Seventies. But these days, Grin and Bare it was lucky if 34 people showed up in a

The cat watched. It had all the time in the world. Not the mouse, though. It knew the gig was up, and so it moved into Plan B. It stood on his hind legs and

It was still dark but she knew she had to get home. Her feet pounded on the pavement. This jog felt longer than others. Perhaps it was because of the dog

The empty suitcase was at his feet. He could leave at any time. There was certainly enough money in the account to make it anywhere in the US, but not enough to get back. That's OK

I always thought that laughter was the best medicine until I heard that Dwayne choked on a gobstopper after hearing the latest Lindsay Lohan joke.

Chelsea was sentence to a year at the home for wayward farmgirls. She was whey too boarish. And her jokes! Too much corn for anyone's ears. She didn't give a flock. Bossy,

I read about her again in the obituary. You know, I wondered what she had been doing all these years.

No one thought the snow would pile up so fast. But at 2:00 when school was over, it was clear to everyone that we wouldn't be going home.

ITS OVER 9000 he yelled as a man kciked him off the cliff. just then the battle of memes has begun.

So the large leather-faced woman began to scream and squeal. The elephant had stepped on her hand as she reached

I slammed my room door open and rolled myself onto my bed. I was really angry at my mom as she didn't prepare my favorite meal. I was really angry and wanted to calm myself down,

:Hi A voice came out of no where. :Hi?? You say. :Beware of strange monsters: The voice says again. You open your eyes. You find yourself in a strange room filled with