I used to go running in the mornings before work, but ever since the accident, I haven't had time for much, other than

The bear came out at night, only

It was cold. The type of cold that numbs your fingers and burns your lungs. But I continued to wander, enjoying the

Degeneration. The word didn't exactly roll off the tongue, especially now that his mind was pulling a Flowers for Algernon and nose diving into oblivion. The only cure: blood.

In nations like the United States, most enquiring eyes remain focused along the coasts or dwell upon geological wonders such as the vast mountain ranges, canyons and the

The dog was licking his foot again. Earlier that year he'd seen that some dogs could detect cancer, or seizures and would lick the offending part. While he debated, his dog peed

He saw the paper toilet seat covers. He pulled out his baggy. Inside was a powdered eczema flakes, scabs, blister husks and dried puss. He blended them in the coffee grinder. Then

Her crayons ground out a foreboding warning on the page. Her parents and principle called a meeting to decide how to get her to draw rainbows, but there were no rainbows in hell.

Zombies can be real jerks sometimes... Seriously, there was this one time I was hanging with my bro Timmy. He was half-zombie and all, but I didn't hold that against him. He

Tis a bad start to your day when even your own demons refuse to speak to you. Seriously, what an attitude these lost souls have! Spawn of hell my ass! They're like spoiled emo

Baking cookies required stamina once fossil fuels had disappeared. You had to hire an Olympic cyclist to run the generator for twenty damned minutes to get the oven to a steady

When his father finally gave him the Guns n Roses album, he held the vinyl up to the light, as if Slash's leads and Axl's voice would come shimmering through. Then he moved towards

The grain silo poured its contents into the streets, which would have been a useful gesture a hundred years before. These people, however, had no idea that it could be ground down

Ellie sat in her cube seething. For 45 years she had written the award winning deb column for Town and Country. Now demoted to advertorials all because she refused to write about

One time my nephews Huey, Dewie and Louie were at my place looking for some good times. They were bored until the Chip n Dales came to take all of my nuts.

He was a fledgling namedropper looking to score. And so, when his sister's husband's grandfather, a minor civic leader, suddenly passed away, he knew this was his chance at fame.

The 24 hour marathon of The Nanny episodes had taken it's toll. At last she stopped putting it off and booked a trip to Flushing NY. There she would tour the monuments to

Her ninetieth birthday smoked every other for the last 72 years. Sure, her family was there, but so was a 20 year old Swiss. He'd said he'd come for her, and 72 years later, he had

Three morris men tried to creep past the watching guard but the jingling of their bells alerted the sentry. 'Put your hands up and give the password', barked the guard. "It's

RUN! The secretaries looked puzzled. I SAID RUN! The man burst through the door and headed straight for the window. The secretaries saw what was behind him and