We decided to head to Ibiza and eat some pizza, but then I got distracted by the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell which changed my mind and made me begin to crave a Doritios

That old bag is made of cells. Cells are bags of liquid and proteinaceous glob. They contain organelles. Organelles are just smaller bags with more liquid and glob. Tea bag theory

Soulreaver, Blade of the Necromancer, was on a card table for 5 bucks next to a stack of Reader's Digest and a Easy-Bake oven with the bulb missing.

Queen Bellaflora swept her wand o’er the waterfall’s foam, making it pop like the snot-bubbles on your baby sister’s face.

She'd been looking for this inscription for years. The oldest known recorded written words, hidden for centuries. But, when she finally wiped away the dust, the tablet simply read

Stefoni, Christi and Carolyn had a technology presentation due on Monday. They were panicked! How could they get a 45 minute presentation put together in 3 days!?

Why mercy me! Says right here I just won the $14 million dollar Nigerian lottery! Says it right here, see? Alls I gotta do it call this here number & give 'em my bank account num

Listen up! The sarge says 95 percent of us are not coming back. So, to those of you who make it. Kill as many of those zombie bastards as you can! To the rest of you, sayonara.

He lifted the rifle at the shooting gallery, aimed it at the carney for a joke. He pulled the trigger. The rifle kicked. Smoke from the barrel. Blood poured from the Carney's chest

The fog came in on little cat feet. The sleet of the night before had slipped away on its belly, leaving a wet trail behind it. The ocean murmured like a thousand muttering

Did you hear the one about the cross-eyed teacher? She couldn't control her pupils.

Canuck Carl was canoe sprinting when he rammed Synchro Sally while she was making her trademark whale breach maneuver. He made a lasting impression. Many years later at the Olympic

I'm on a new diet. Yellows and oranges. Carrots, cheeses, crackers, oranges, bananas, squash, chicken, Cheetos, corn tortillas, Cheez-its. Pretty balanced actually. So far I've

Dr. Harry Haller found there were many benefits by being a lycanthropist in the year 2016 and started to list them while having beer and bratwurst. George the red wolf, his buddy.

Sorry, but I can't stop twiddling my thumbs. I'm working out to drop weight classes in time for the thumb wrestling tournament at recess tomorrow. Next, I'll do Ring Pop sit-ups.

Three point one four one five nine two six five three five eight nine seven nine three two three eight four six two six four three three eight three two seven nine five zero two

Last night I dreamt I was onstage singing with Bennie and The Jets, Squawkers was in the rafters periodically bombing me with bird poop, Det. Manatee heckled me from the audience

Pale fingers traced around the pool of blood, his body twisted and bend in ways she could never have imagined. "Well, looks like Twister strikes again." She sighed.

The retired major from the Indian Army handed over an ornate box. "Take it from me, it's cursed!" he spluttered. I opened it and nestling in blue silk was a desiccated claw.

My dog fiercely hunts bees, hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets. Once, she got cartoon face. What is she afraid of? Flies! When she sees a fly, she hides under the bed.