The man sat in a tree, waiting for his wife to call. How had he gotten himself into this predicament?

She looked out of her kitchen window.What she saw was less a lawn, more a field. Had it really been 6 months since she dragged that mower out of the shed?Well it would explain the

The wheels spun and smoke was billowing out as she dropped the flag. As the Cobra gained traction the 520 HP engine torqued the car and I was headed straight toward her. I had

Of course, the party as a whole might have been called off totally. For all I know, this guy might be some aspie fuck who tried to organize a party without his mother's consent, an

Hello adventurer! You have entered an enchanted forest filled with wonder do you... Talk to the grizzled dwarf? (Go to Line 2) Kill him? (Go to Line 4) Make your choice now:

A sharp pain flew through my toe., or at least where my toe used to be. It has been 10 years since I lost it and still can't believe it happened . My mother would laugh if she knew

"What's black and white and red all over?"

'A jetsam enema' is an anagram for 'James Manatee'. Coincidentally, our detective sensed a terrorist paddleboat dumping excess nukes in Lake Baikal, and he was gonna flush 'em out.

The ragged black slippers quietly disintegrated at his feet; chewed up reminders of a dog who fetched them. She had been, of course, eaten long ago. Times were tough and meat

With friends like these, you have to wonder where it all went wrong. Jonas was always popular in his heyday, but he never imagined that

There was a little liar called Gnaus. As a child, he grew up in the jungle alone. One day, he came across a stranger.

"No, seriously, I can't believe it's not butter!" I said, scooping another dollop onto my slice of bread. Stephanie rolled her eyes. "That's because it's not," she sighed.

I was walking along the garden path when I heard a cry for help. I looked around but couldn't see anything. Then I saw this tiny little box. Could it be coming from this small

I was hiking one day when the ground gave way beneath me! I fell down quite a distance. I looked only to realize i was trapped in a cave! I looked around for a way out. I decided

Can you teach a bear to dance?

It was a mistake, I knew, to buy the grape soda. It never sat well in my stomach. Also, I won the contest prize in the fourth can, which summoned Beelzebub to my living room.

Phil looked at Anita incredulously. "You can't be serious! It can't be done!" Anita only narrowed her eyes at him. "Phil, don't make me question my attraction - to your brain."

This morning when I dropped a deuce in the bowl I could smell our sex from last night. The yeasty moistness that your snapper gummed on my bumpy pole really made me

Sometimes I like to sing. My elephant likes it. Show tunes, mostly. But occasionally I belt out some Sinatra for her as well. Until that awful day when everything changed.

NASA says its GPS satellites show that maps are going to have to be redrawn.