If I had cancer and new I was going to die in the next three day's I would...

"Hammer, if I don't begin and end every sentence with the word hammer, the device attached to my heart will explode hammer" said Bobby Skids, telemarketer. With a deep breath, he

SOMOS CAMPEONES DE LIGAAAAAAAAAA!!!!1

En la clase de espanol, todos los dias...

As my house fell away into the crevice below I lamented my own misfortune, yet I could not help feeling pride for the explosive batch of lamingtons that set off

In West Philidelphia, born and rasied, on the playground is where i spent most of my days. Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool, playin some B-Ball outside of school when

The Solution: Hidden Costume.

The villains sat at their weekly gathering, tired of a long day of scheming, planning, and conniving. One of them ordered a cup of coffee, while the others pondered over the menu

أبحر البوم العتيق في عرض البحر، حاملاً الغاصة و الباحثين عن اللؤلؤ في قيادة النوخذة المتمرّس في ملاحة و دروب البحر. لمح أحد البحّارة في الأفق البعيد شيئاً غريب، و صرخ مناديا اصحابه

So I asked her. "How can I help you make your dreams come true?" She held up the Happy costume.

The day I went to heaven was possibly one of the best days of my life (life?). God was pretty swell, and not having to piss was good, but the best thing was

His words hit me like a punch in the gut. I fell to the ground gasping. Who knew such a traitor would come into my life?

"Helloooo Newman!" says Jerry as Newman barges through his apartment door. "Did you hear what happened Jerry?"

Can you believe that I, the most sickly and frailest of all my brothers, outlived them all by generations?

Where do I start? I suppose from Friday night. I left your house and drove home. All the way there my mind was on you and the too-short time we spent together. I opened the door to

I closed the door and yelled "Honey I'm home! Boy, that shower BJ is REALLY going to hit the spot today. If you don't mind I'm just going to get a lot drunk first." Then

FOLDINGSTORY THE MOVIE. They say Titivillus is the demon putting typos in story folds. It's 1940. I fold stories by flinging them as paper airplanes out my highrise office. Origami

Every morning, Pamela paused on her way to the bus stop to look at the flowers beginning to come up through the layer of mulch and garbage along the edge of the park. Spring is

"You misheard me," I said, hands raised. "I said 'terran-ist.' Means I hold the belief that Mars should be treated as a colony, not independent. Can you put the guns down, please?"

The shrincken humbie squalled and caterpunked festily. Fagan glomped inwardly & offed his festerbound handy. Thoroughly tanked, Morose teedled & blowdied Fagan's trestlt until