"Yeah, Suri, she's our baby." No Tom, you're not fit to be a parent. You're a terrible human being. You're a whacked out, insecure shrimp scientologist. And I'll tell you what Tom,

The sun went down and Vampire Mr. Potato rose from his foil casket. The agry villagers were outside his oven with torches and steak fries. They wanted the monster

M U R D E R E R

Capital Idea. I'd soon be hobnobbing with Bollywood starlets. Indians liked snow but the cold, brrrr. My patented ToastySnow™ already covered the landfill slopes outside Mumbai

Crewcuts were in then. In a major way. Back then I was slapping people, slapping them silly I tell you. I was a Najor Force, the Major Domo of some super freaky

I palpitated it with my fingers. "What is this?" I asked. The more I examined the piece, the firmer it got. I was unsure if the subject was uncomfortable or

Although he considered it to be a form of right livelihood, Snuffy the Inhaler felt he needed a break from being stuck into Greg's nostrils. So, after learning mesmerism from a

Kurt Russet was wrapping up Big Tuber in Little China. The movie was half-baked and he wondered if the critics would roast it.

Shelly left for work every morning at 6:00 am. She always put on her shoes, before grabbing her keys, and driving to work. This morning was different however,

"I don't want to be an adventurer anymore." Flapjack complained. "Not after what Cap'n K'nuckles did." This whole mess started when K'nuckles bought a cat.

One day a girl who was only 7 went to the beach.

Apparently the convict was not amused by my blithering about the origins of my nickname, so he dashed my head against a handy headstone. "Chapter Two -- I am dead" The End.

"Buongiorno!" the stout, little man yelled and lifted his hand in greeting. "Sa la ragazza da Ingleterra??"

Shalomar. Shalomar. Shalomar." The shadows on the wall quivered. They had come again tonight. I can feel them. They always come on a

Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince who wanted to get married. He was introduced to a thousand youn beautiful girls, but he didn' like them.

She missed the boy so very much. The ease of their conversations, his ever contagious laugh, and most of all the beautiful words, so miticulously chosen, that he spoke. He was her

We all sat there stunned. Some crying. Some thinking, remembering. Then he opened his eyes again

“Laugh it up, Fuzzball.” said the Siamese cat to the Manx. The Manx couldn't help laughing, the Siamese had just his testicles clipped.

Although your kitchen may appear safe at first, there is an evil lurking, an abomination of untold proportions, if the dishes are left in the sink long enough then you

After many years in the outback, a lone dingo made his way to