"What! No more doughnuts? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Comparisons to be drawn between "the virile" and "the virulent" are perhaps as close as the similarities in spelling. Alternatively, cretins and imbeciles seem dissimilar, correct?

Writer's block is a bitch.

It started with eating my own fingers and progressed. I've eaten a whole arm and half my left leg so far. My doctor is concerned but I can't stop and I really like the look of my

The Barrista was pretended that the coffee shop was the Bridge of the USS Enterprise and that he was

one day i was riding my dirt bike when i decide to try to jump. I got just above twenty feet when suddenly my bike slipped from under me and I

Due to cuts in educational funding, the board has narrowed the periodic table to the four basic elements of earth, air, fire and water. Some other changes we wil implement are

Critics are praising this folding story. "The Greatest Story Ever Told!" says the Hollywood Reporter. "You couldn't see that end coming!" says Rolling Stone. 'In a world where

He gingerly fingered his wound. They hadn't done him any real favors, leaving him alive as they did. Although he did have to admit

We dove off the coast of Šventoji. The nets had pulled up small chunks of amber. Sonar indicated a dome shaped structure. The Princess Jūratės palace of amber was within my grasp!

The second thoughts he had after he plummeted over the Niagra Horseshoe Falls in an inflatable bouncy ball were swiftly erased by the tonnage of fresh water fast approaching.

I'm a satellite scavenger, a dangerous occupation. Governments & corporations don't like their technological secrets getting out. You have to b e quick. I'd narrowed the impact

Pizza. Ausgerechnet Pizza. Keine Banane. Nein. Auf einem Stück seiner Leib- und Magenspeise musste er ausrutschen. Heilige Scheiße! Welcher Honk hatte die denn fallen lassen?

Why do I hate Bono he wondered.

"Your Honor, My client is innocent of the charges filed. He was in a car accident and lost his left arm. The arm donor was a notorious shoplifter so you see he couldn't help it."

Maid Marion decided that she was not a liberated woman after all. In fact, the recent feminist dialogue had deprived her of the choice of being a stay at home mom. So she went

A scarecrow, a lion, and a tin woodsman walk into a bar. The tin woodsman orders a pint of oil, the scarecrow asks for a haymaker, and the lion requests a

"I've done it!" he exclaimed, raising the turkey baster in triumph. "I've extracted pure beige." An air of excitement filled the lab as his TA embraced him. But Crayola's lawyers

My upstairs neighbors were at it again. I tried to tune them out but found myself tapping my foot to the rhythmic creak of old floorboards and mattress springs. Their moaning grew

"Hey man, wanna call a truce?" he asked me. We were back-to, pistols in hand. "Sure thing," I said. But I still planned to take my three steps and blast him. When I turned around