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The UPS driver stared intensely at me. "Do

  • The UPS driver stared intensely at me. "Do you want Santa's recipe for hot chocolate?" Of course I do, I replied!!! He shrugged. "Cool, here's what you do. Add three

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  • sheets bubblewrap, &some packing tape, really fragile stuff, &throw in a wrong address" I looked at him strangely, then I realized he was pissed bc the last package didn't have the

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  • holes poked in it for the monkey inside. I promise that that will be the last time I try to ship a monkey, From now on I will stick to smuggling them in my pants.

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  • The only problem is that when shipping them I'm able to fit about 20 at a time how am I going to be able to smuggle 20 into my size 28s? This sounds like a challenge that

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  • calls for some simple math! I whipped out my slide rule and applied the proper formula. "Carry the one, divide by pi. Hmm, no that can't be right..." Meanwhile 10 of them had begun

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  • doing an interpretive dance to "You Picked A Fine Time to Leave Me Lucille" and well, I just couldn't calculate the odds of that happening. This was the math problem of the century

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  • and thankfully mathematics field medal winner Jean Bourgain walked into the room and offered to help. With the odds calculated we were able to interpretive dance all night. It was

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  • totally lame until Jean brought the shrooms. The interpretive dance party took a totally phantasmic turn and a rainbow pony appeared to take us all the Hushpuppy

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  • Night at Long John Silvers. We stared at our hushpuppy plates in disbelief as jumbo prawn dressed in flight attendant outfits broke out of them and began to sing a rousing chorus

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  • , bawdy in detail and raucous in nature. We learned that eating out has its inherent risks and its potential rewards; and that prawns dance really, REALLY well.

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