The UPS driver stared intensely at me. "Do

The UPS driver stared intensely at me. "Do you want Santa's recipe for hot chocolate?" Of course I do, I replied!!! He shrugged. "Cool, here's what you do. Add three

sheets bubblewrap, &some packing tape, really fragile stuff, &throw in a wrong address" I looked at him strangely, then I realized he was pissed bc the last package didn't have the

holes poked in it for the monkey inside. I promise that that will be the last time I try to ship a monkey, From now on I will stick to smuggling them in my pants.

The only problem is that when shipping them I'm able to fit about 20 at a time how am I going to be able to smuggle 20 into my size 28s? This sounds like a challenge that

calls for some simple math! I whipped out my slide rule and applied the proper formula. "Carry the one, divide by pi. Hmm, no that can't be right..." Meanwhile 10 of them had begun

doing an interpretive dance to "You Picked A Fine Time to Leave Me Lucille" and well, I just couldn't calculate the odds of that happening. This was the math problem of the century

and thankfully mathematics field medal winner Jean Bourgain walked into the room and offered to help. With the odds calculated we were able to interpretive dance all night. It was

totally lame until Jean brought the shrooms. The interpretive dance party took a totally phantasmic turn and a rainbow pony appeared to take us all the Hushpuppy

Night at Long John Silvers. We stared at our hushpuppy plates in disbelief as jumbo prawn dressed in flight attendant outfits broke out of them and began to sing a rousing chorus