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So there I was. Sitting in the priciples

  • So there I was. Sitting in the priciples 45 degree office. All alone while the principle left the room for a minute. Then, all of a sudden, the phone rang. Smuthered by curiosity I

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  • answered it. "Hello," i said waiting patiently for a reply, "Who is this?!" exclaimed my mom. I quickly hungup the phone and sat down in my chair asi felt a bead of sweat drip down

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  • onto my forehead. I jerked my head up and realized it wasn't sweat, it was drool.

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  • But this drool wasn't cool. It was nicely viscous but it didn't glow in the dark or have glitter. I advised my would-be predator of these possibilities and we became acquaintances.

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  • He was surprisingly appreciative of my advice, and has since managed to add a slightly acidic scent to his blood; it helped immensely with his acting career, as well as his battle

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  • raps. He became even more famous. Then one day I left my throne of shrieks to visit him. To collect on my debt. I knocked on the door. Marshall Mathers answered. I jammed my

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  • fist into his stomach, I hated 8 Mile.

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  • Whenever anyone mentions the movie, my skin turns green with envy that a no-talent like Macaulay Culkin gets to be in a movie and I don't. Or was it someone else? either way.

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  • My skin was deathly green by this point and I grabbed the offender, screaming, "Don't you dare talk about Culkin or whoever it was! They have no talent! I have talent!" Then I

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  • did a soulfull rendition of Rainbow Connection while strumming a banjo. They all had a change of heart and I went on to stardom with Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. Hi-Yo!

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