The plastic spork was no match for fudge

The plastic spork was no match for fudge and marshmallow mixture. But under the circumstances, this hardly mattered. Barbara had been losing blood for nearly an hour.

And chocolate made a rather inadequate poultice. At least it didn't melt in her hands.

I'd strung together an entire one pound bag of m&m's into a poultice & those bastards only melted in your mouth. Things got uncomfortable on Halloween when trick or treaters showed

so I had no other choice but to give them oranges and apples. The look on their faces said it all- ungrateful kids, back in my day you would have got nothing!

Back in my day people thought Halloween was the devil's birthday. Back in my day licorice was a treat. Back in my day...I used to believe in love. So I had no choice but to sob

and binge-eat my way to happiness. It wasn't until I had reached my first couple-hundred pounds that I thought to myself: "Hey, why don't I call

it a life and just eat myself to death?" That was 9 months and 4,000 twinkies ago. Turns out, the secret to happiness does not lie at the center of yellow sponge cake. Diabetes

has not brought me happiness, not as much I'd hope. But is it the strategy or just the Twinkies? Little Debbie may be the answer. I just hope I

who brought the thin girl? What, is she our new diet? This has gone too far, it has. I believe it is time for me to try to live without all you addicts for a while. Sugar be damned