The army marched to the outskirts of the

The army marched to the outskirts of the capital. Right here and now they can end the war, but the munitions supply of mustard is low, not enough for the hotdogs. Morale is low.

"Gentleman," the general addressed his troops. "It's a pain in the buns, I know, but we must ketchup to the enemy whether the condiments are low. We MUST be ARDent in our mission."

pate thoughtfully. Sunlight reflected off of it in just the right way. They all watched entranced by the sight, mayonnaise forgotten. The soldiers sandwiched themselves between

The two cans of pate and discussed their strategy. It was getting late and soon the mayonnaise would wake up. Right now, it was snoring.

The trick was holding the mayo and doubling the catch up because with these numbers we were never going to reach that guy in Peoria. It was time to pâté or get off the pot.

"So pâté like crazy you fools!" someone in the distance cried out. And the beasts grabbed their spreading knives and went straight to

work. In no time the canapes for the wedding dinner were made. They tasted wonderful and no-one suspected that they were made by beasts until one person found a hog hair in his

mushroom vol au vent. The hair was long, curly and ginger. The bride slipped her phone out of her garter & dialled Det. Manatee. "I suspect my finger food is not human made!" she

cried. "Would you believe... Half-human?" Det. Manatee burst from the swinging kitchen doors in full chef's uniform. "Surprise!" He shouted to the reception. "I cater weddings!"