I laughed maniacally. He had no idea that

I laughed maniacally. He had no idea that he was dealing with a keyboard warrior. Swiftly, I corrected his spelling and grammar, and proceeded to laugh at his poor excuse of a cuss

, knowing that I had won. The victim of my grammar policing wrote another comment, saying that I had made a spelling mistake myself. I scoffed. "Impossible," I say to myself.

I didn't know what to say or to do. I couldn't believe his ignorance.

Why should I have to explain this to him again? I didn't like green eggs and ham.

retorted, "I would not, could not in the rain. I would not, could not on a train. I do NOT like green eggs and ham. You cannot make me try them, Sam-I-Am!"

Green steam blew out of Sam's ears. "Look here, you little punk! You've gonna try 'em & you're gonna like 'em. I'm sick & tired of your obstinance! Now EAT!" Sam-I-Am shoved my

mouth into the green eggs and ham, which tasted like... heaven? Anyway, with Brunch Phase 1 complete, it was now time to begin Phase 2 (by tasting the Lorax's entrée next).

The Lorax made coq au vin, using cornish hens with vegetarian stuffing and giblets. The wine was 2014 vintage Red House Chardonnay. Luckily, the guests were sufficiently drunk so

he downed the bottle himself in one fast gulp.Everyone applauded.The Lorax had done it again:He saved the forest AND saved his guests from becoming even drunker.Hooray Lorax!