"I cannot imagine a better way to end this

"I cannot imagine a better way to end this day", Margot thought to herself. The 22 ounce Black & Tan before her was perfectly poured and the man who wouldn't stop talking wasn't

shutting up. I lifted the mini-flame thrower made for me by the elves (the cobbler's elves had given up shoemaking for defense contracts) and torched the guy's face until

it melted. Those elves were good at making mini flame throwers, I decided. He seemed pretty dead so I threw him to the ground, pleased with his silence, and continued

typing my thesis, "Flame Tossers: A Compromise Between Sissy and Savage." [enter, tab] "For years, flame throwers have wreaked havoc on distant enemies of all sizes, and ethical

emotions regarding flame dancers are fraught with tedious debate." I increased the font size for all my punctuation twice. Damn, one sentence wasn't long enough. My thesis needed

to be posted on the main billboard in Times Square in order to make sense. Even then, people still wondered what the heck it was about. "Everyone knows that flame dancers are

a flash in the pan," said Phil the cabbie. "Yeah, but a flash in the pan is worth a moon in the park," countered Morey the newshawk. "Flame dancers will never make it in Vegas," s

uddenly, in the midst of the enthralling debate, an arrow whizzed by Phil's ear, embedding itself firmly in the leather chair behind him with a terrible THUNNKKK. They looked at th

e chair and momentarily lamented the fact that it had missed Phil by quite a bit. Phil catapulted himself over the ottoman over to the fireplace where he grabbed the chartreuse

bottle downing it in a chug.It wasn't any bottle of Chartreuse. It was the Elixir of Long Life & Phil would have lived 300 yrs more if the chair hadn't shoved him into the hearth.