String theory, the scientist said, is an

String theory, the scientist said, is an attempt to realize Einstein's dream and not Isaac Newton and the apple that fell on his head causing him to attain Nirvana. Now the apple

Giant Apple. No wait. Nevermind. The apple grew and grew, I was worried that was going to bother Kurt in his grave, and I was right because the next day he showed up at my door

neatly gift-wrapped in a box from Amazon. Why Amazon would ship me a fresh corpse, I don't know. But there Kurt was, his body nestled among styrofoam and packs of dry ice.

I could feel Kurt's eyes staring at me from beneath his frozen, dead, and closed eyes. Why had this terrible act of my past shown up again, in my mailbox of all places years later.

Kurt's head had started to thaw. Quickly I grabbed the styrofoam lid to close the box again, but before I could his eyelids snapped open and he said, "What am I doing in your kitch

y little Italian restaurant? You KNOW I hate red and white tablecloths!" I froze (if you'll forgive the pun). This was not good. I quickly shut Kurt's head back in the box, but

Kurt Cobain's cigarette jaded voice could be heard from outside the box. So I shook the box. Hard. I felt bad afterwards, but Jeez, he would not shut up. Then it was quiet for

a moment. Was it a trick? I opened the flap of the cereal box & poured the Lucky Charms into my bowl. No Kurt Cobain. I looked inside the box & saw there at the very bottom a teeny

tiny pony toy, but it wasn't generation 4. We'd been stiffed again. Generation 3 was a dinosaur, like their models looked. I sulked as I picked out the marshmallows and ate them.